Black or Red
by Anonyme
Summary: Missing scenes from Phase One. What happens when Sydney goes to change and afterwards?
1. Default Chapter

Title: Black or Red

Author: Becky (anonyme@lisco.com)

Feedback: OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!! Gotta love feedback!

Summary: What happens when Sydney goes to change?

Spoilers: Phase One

Rating: PG-13

Distribution: SD-1 boards, FF.net, and Cover Me. Anyone else, please ask, I'll probably say yes. 

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to JJ and Co. I'm just playing with them for a bit and will return them when I'm done.

Author's Note: This came from an idea that there is no way that Sydney was quiet while she was changing into the red lingerie. Thanks to Jude and Jen for convincing me that I needed to go ahead and write it and for putting up with seeing this paragraph by paragraph on IM. You guys are the best! 

Just to be on the safe side, please don't be eating or drinking anything while reading this. Your keyboard or monitor might not like the results.

Becky 

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Black or Red---------------

_  
Put on the red one..._ Nacor's words echo through my head as I saunter out of the room. Once in the hall, I smack the riding crop hard against the wall, wishing it was Nacor's head.   
  
"Put on the red one," I mutter sarcastically as I stomp back to bathroom where I'm allowed to change. I slam the crop down on the edge of the sink, satisfied when I see that I've broken the damn thing.  
  
"Syd, you need to calm down a bit."  
  
Leaning against the sink, I take a deep breath. Normally, the sound of Vaughn's voice would be enough to calm me, but not tonight. I glance up at the mirror, knowing that Vaughn and Weiss can see me. "I need to '_calm down_'? Damn it Vaughn, I'm standing here in less than I normally wear to bed and you're telling me to CALM DOWN?"  
  
"Well there goes that particular fantasy..."  
  
"Shut up, Eric," I hear Vaughn say.

I glare at the mirror. "I can hear you. You know that, right, Weiss?"  
  
"Hey, it isn't my fantasy," Weiss states, trying to defend himself.

If I didn't think it would leave a mark, I'd be hitting my head on the sink right about now. As it is, I get to listen to Vaughn "reminding" Eric about what he can and cannot talk about. Apparently what I wear to bed is only one of many topics that have been discussed.  
  
I remove the sheer black robe and reach behind me and start to unhook the bra. I have the right strap down when I hear Vaughn shouting at me. "What?" I ask as I look in the mirror, letting the left strap fall around my elbow.

"Mirror," he states simply, his voice a bit strained.

"What about it?"   
  
"Syd, you're looking at it."

_What am I, stupid? _"Yes, Vaughn, I realize that. So?" After waiting for a moment for Vaughn to say something, _anything_, I give up. I'm just about to finish taking it off when Weiss tries to clarify Vaughn's statement.  
  
"Jesus, I can't believe I'm doing this. Sydney, what Vaughn is trying to tell you, wordlessly, I might add, is that we can see you." After a minute, he adds, "Nice mole, by the way."

I look back up in the mirror, my jaw dropping open. It takes less than a second for me to step away, but when I do, I hear two very different reactions. Vaughn whispers thank you and Weiss mutters something about being an idiot.

I drop the bra to the floor and I'm about to turn off the feed when I change my mind. No reason why I have to be the only one suffering here. I kick the shoes off, my feet grateful to be out of the uncomfortable things, if only for a moment. 

Unsnapping the garters, I take my time rolling the stockings down my legs, making sure that Vaughn and Weiss can see my progress. I know it's working when I hear Vaughn mutter something. Okay, so it wasn't so much muttering as it was groaning.

Now it's time for some real fun. Slipping the black panties off, I make sure they can see me kicking them across the room.

"Oh God..."

I smile to myself, relaxing for the first time since I set foot on this damned plane. Poking my head in front of the mirror, I ask, "Vaughn? Is everything ok?"

"Sydney, you are an evil woman," Weiss answers instead. "And Vaughn, that is just sick. You are worse than your damned mutt."

"What?" I ask as I lean closer to the mirror, making sure they can see my bare shoulders, but nothing more.

"You should see him. His tongue is hanging out and he's drooling over everything. Jesus man, would you stop drooling over the equipment? Next thing I know, he's going to be licking the monitor."

I hear something hit the ground, and from the muffled curses, I'm assuming it's Weiss. I pull back a little, just to give Vaughn something more to look at. "Now boys, play nice," I chide as I hold the red set up to the mirror.  
  
As I step into the panties, I can't help muttering about the injustice of all of this.  
  
"Syd, you need to hurry up a little. Nacor might start to wonder what is taking so long."

"_Syd, you need to hurry up_," I mock. "Yeah right..." I pause for a moment as I slip into the bra. Adjusting the straps, I look back into the mirror. "You know, just once, I would like to see Dixon have to do something like this. But no, he never has to parade around in a speedo."

"Hey, what about Vaughn?" Weiss asks.

"What about him?"

"Well you know, each time you have to wear something skimpy, he gets to just lounge around in his suit. Maybe he's the one who needs to be parading around in the speedo."

"Weiss would you shut up!"

I know I'm staring into the mirror, but I can't help it. The image Weiss has just planted in my head is too much. Gripping the edges of the sink, I lower my head and take a deep breath, trying not to laugh. Now I don't think the sight of Vaughn in a speedo is funny. Actually, it's something I've wondered, no _dreamed_, about from time to time, but at this particular moment, it just seems so absurd that I finally do start laughing. 

"Syd, is everything okay?"

I look back at the mirror, tears running down my face as I begin to shake from trying to hold my laughter in check.

"Oh man, this is _so_ not good. She's laughing at the thought of you in a speedo."

"SHUT UP!" Vaughn screams at his friend and I'm really wishing I could see them right now.

I take a couple of nice deep breaths and I'm able to regain control. Turning on the cold water, I grab a wash cloth that is on the rack and get it wet. After ringing it out, I place it against my eyes, letting the coolness soothe them.   
  
I grab the eye drops I stuck in my bag and place a couple in each eye, knowing that if I went back to Nacor with red eyes, an explanation might be in order. And that was one thing I didn't want to try and explain.

Dropping the bottle back in the bag, I then step back in front of the mirror, allowing Vaughn and Weiss to see me. All of me. "So, what do you think?"

"It looks great, but I thought the black one was perfect," Vaughn says.

"Yeah, he did," Weiss confirms. "In fact, he called Nacor a son-of-a-bitch when he said that he wanted to see the red one."

"Really?" I ask, comforted by what Eric has just said about Vaughn's reaction.

"Oh and just for the record, I _really_ like the red one."

I shake my head at Weiss's response. Looking into the mirror one last time, I sigh. "Weiss, I'm am going to kick your ass when we land. You know that, right?"

"You can try. You can always try."

I turn to leave, figuring that he knows he's gonna get it when I see him next, but I stop. I lean closer to the mirror, pressing my lips to the glass. I then step back, pleased with the impression of my lips on the mirror. "Thanks."

As I leave the bathroom and go back toward Nacor's bedroom, I smile to myself. I know Vaughn is probably confused by what I've just done, but I'm fairly certain he'll figure it out later. Hopefully without Weiss's help. 


	2. Chapter 2

So here is part 2. Finally. I will appologize right now for this not being funny, but the angst muse got an idea and wouldn't let it go. Bad muse...

Ok, so for the disclaimer, please see part one. The only addition to the whole I don't own 'em bit is that Hodges is mine, but I'm not particularly attached to him. LOL.

As for spoilers, still takes place during Phase One. Minor reference to ATY and The Getaway.

This takes place after Syd has been sucked out of the plane. Weiss' POV.

Thanks to Jen for betaing this. See, I kept up my end of the deal. And thanks to Jude for being willing to look at this paragraph by paragraph as I finished it today. (And I'm still not sure if I should be happy or upset that you put this idea in my head in the first place...) And Steph, thank you for the yo yo idea.

and now on with the show...

Becky

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"She's all yours." Now I think I finally understand why Vaughn always looks like shit the morning after Sydney has been in the field. All this time I thought he was kidding about not being able to sleep when she was on missions. Guess I was wrong. 

Hell, after what I've just seen, I feel the need to find a very large bottle of scotch, and I'm not even the one who's in love with her. Actually, as good as the scotch might sound right now, I'd settle for just being able to breathe normally. As I take another shaky breath, I suddenly realize it's way too quiet in here.

"Don't you think we should alert a team to pick her up?" I ask, turning back to face Vaughn. When that doesn't get any sort of response, I take my hand and wave it in front of his face. "Mike?" Still nothing.

"Shit..." I grab the headset, putting it back on my head. I'm trying to get in touch with Base Ops, hoping that Mike will snap out of the fog he's in and help.

Contact is finally made and I've relayed the situation. They reassure me that they are tracking her and that they will have a team there to pick her up once she's landed.

This done, I turn back to Vaughn. I don't think he's moved a muscle since we saw the parachute open, and this has me more than a little concerned. I mean, this is Michael Vaughn we are talking about. The man who's on top of all things Sydney. Well, except Sydney. That much is _way _too obvious.

I almost start to laugh at the thought, but one quick glance to my left and it dies in my throat. Vaughn is seriously worrying me. I place my hands on his shoulders, grabbing hold of his jacket and shaking him gently.

As the fabric bunches beneath my fingers, some part of me regrets that this isn't one of his precious suits I'm wrinkling. I mean does he actually think that a perfectly pressed suit is going to make people ignore the perpetual case of bed-head? Don't think so, but for some unknown reason, he seems to be able to pull it off. And it seriously pisses me off. With that thought, I really start shaking him.

"Weiss?" he asks as he starts pushing back.

_Finally..._ "No, it's the tooth fairy." _Who the hell does he think it is? Jesus! _I release my hold on him, patting his back reassuringly.

"Oh God, Sydney..." he mutters as he quickly turns back to the computer, grabbing the headset and putting it back on.

Now he's started acting more like the Michael Vaughn we all know and... _God, I really need help. _"Easy." 

"But Syd... I need to..." he stammers.

"Hey, it's taken care of already. As soon as they have her, they'll contact us." Vaughn turns to face me, placing the headset back on the table and I swear there are ten new wrinkles creasing his forehead. "What?"

"The way she shot out of the plane, do you think..." He stops, unable to finish the sentence.

"Hey," I begin, my hand gripping his shoulder tightly, "this is Sydney we are talking about. She'll not only be fine, she'll probably try to make good on her threat to kick my ass."

A small smile creeps across Vaughn's face as he nods. "Yeah, she probably will."

"But because I'm _such_ a good friend, you won't let her do that now, will you?"  
  
Vaughn actually has the nerve to laugh. "Well, I'm not so sure. You _do_ deserve it."

I remove my hand and try my best to look shocked and hurt by his comment. When he starts to laugh even harder, I start to get a bit pissed. "Hey! Just because I happen to think she looked better in the red one..."

"You know you should have kept that particular opinion to yourself, right?"

I drop back on the crate I was using as a chair. "Well, if I didn't before, I do now," I pout, wondering if I should point out that she's still wearing the red bra and panty set.

I suppress the smile that is threatening to take over my face as I look back at Vaughn who's now glancing back and forth between his watch and the snowy screen. I know that he's not seeing the black and white spots dance across the monitor. From the look on his face, I know his mind is now tormenting him with all the things that could have possibly happened had she not cleared the wing and engine.

I reach across him, turning the monitor off for the time being. Now, I'm not stupid. I know that turning it off is not going to stop his mind from conjuring up all sorts of gruesome images of what could have happened. Between what he just saw and what happened in Nice, I'm sure he's developing quite a complex where Sydney and a possible relationship with her is concerned.

I'm about to launch into a reminder of why he needs to get his ass in gear and just tell her how he feels about her when a voice starts buzzing in my ear. "Copy that," I respond, watching as Vaughn hesitantly reaches for his headset.

I shake my head at Vaughn, grabbing the headset away from him as Hodges gives me a report on Sydney's condition. A couple more exchanges and the line disconnects, leaving me with the job of telling Vaughn what is happening now.

"What is it?" he asks nervously. 

"They're putting her on a plane. It should arrive about forty-five minutes after we land. After that, we'll all be heading back to L.A.," I answer as I pull the headset off and reach into my pocket, wrapping my fingers around what I find there.

"Weiss, what aren't you telling me?"

I pull the yo-yo from my pocket, wrapping the string around my finger before I let it go. It's on its way back to my hand when Vaughn grabs it.

"Eric, tell me."

I sigh, turning to face him. "She was unconscious when they found her." I watch as his mouth opens and it looks like he's trying to form words, but no sound comes out. I continue quickly. "Hodges said her chute got tangled in a tree. He thinks she must have been knocked out by the impact."

He finally finds his voice. "Is she still unconscious?"

"From what I heard in the background, I'm thinking no."

"What do you mean?"

"I heard her talking to the medic they had with them. She didn't sound happy, so I'm assuming she's fine."

"Jesus! Is everything a joke to you?" Vaughn snaps as he throws the yo-yo back at me.

I know he's worried about Sydney, but his comment just really pisses me off. "No, it isn't. But I'll tell you what is."

Vaughn sits back and appears to brace himself for what I'm about to say next. "What?"

"You."

"_Excuse me?_"

"Listen man, for the past year and a half, I've watched you carry a torch for her, but you haven't done a damn thing about it. Well, except almost getting yourself killed. Twice."

"You son of a bitch!" he whispers, his voice cold.

Provoking him like this might not be the best way to handle the situation, but I'm tired of watching him do this to himself. "I know you've been worried about all the what ifs and protocol and everything." I take a breath before I continue. "This morning when I caught you two in the hall before the meeting, you both looked guilty as hell and I'll bet there wasn't one single reason why you should have."

I reach over, grabbing his shoulder again, forcing him to look at me. "Look, I know you're trying to protect her, trying to keep her safe, but tell me this, if things tonight had turned out differently, what would it have all been for?"

I let go of Vaughn's shoulder and wind the string back around the yo-yo as I stand up. I didn't really expect him to respond, but I do want him to think about what I've said. He's been given one more chance. Hopefully this time, he'll do something about it.  



	3. Black or Red part 3

AN: So here's part 3. And it's actually the right version. Thanks to Jen and Steph for once again listening to me whine about this being crap, and then telling me it isn't. I'm still not sure, so I'm going into hiding once again after I post this. Course, this time I might have to dig my rock out from under the snow to resurface, but that will just give me a few extra days in hiding. I'm also not sure about whether to thank Jude and Jen for what they know might happen or not. You two are evil!

Please see the disclaimers in parts 1 and 2.

Still things we didn't see in Phase One.

Please enjoy! (And Please let me know so that I know whether to punish or reward the evil Angst Muse)

Becky

PS-see additional AN at the end...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I sit quietly watching Sydney as she sleeps. It's not been, by any means, peaceful. There have even been a couple of times when I've been ready to wake her, but just as I reach out she seems to settle down so I leave her be. 

The sound of laughter reaches my ears and I tear my gaze from the woman next to me and look toward the front of the plane where Weiss, Hodges, and the others sit playing poker. Most times, I'd be up there with them, losing badly. But right now, the thought of leaving Sydney's side for even a second is unimaginable.

Actually, the whole scenario of why we are here and what we might have just accomplished seems like something out of a dream. But as unreal as it seems in some ways, it's all too real in others. 

Like watching Sydney with Nacor. My hand clenches into a fist as I remember the way he leered at her like she was there just to please him. And I know that's exactly what it was supposed to look like, but still, that's not the point. No one should ever have to suffer that kind of degrading scrutiny.  
  
Remembering what happened next sends a chill through my body that I don't think will ever go away. When Sydney shot out that window, I was certain that it was all over. But then she managed to claw her way to the parachutes and get into one. But nothing, _nothing_, could ever have prepared me to see her fly out of the plane.

Another hand of cards is played and I can hear Weiss gloating as I remember how hard it was to wait for her to arrive with Hodges' team in London. But then she was there and nothing mattered because I could finally breathe again.

********

_"They should have been here by now," I state as I pace the office where we are waiting._

"Mike, you've got to relax. You keep this up, you'll have a heart attack before they even get here."

"It's just..." Weiss comes up and grips my shoulder, trying to reassure me. I just wish it would help some.

"I know. I know," he answered quietly.

The sound of a vehicle pulling up has me looking out the window. When I see Hodges step out of the van, I open the door, going out to meet them.

"Hey Mike. Eric. Sorry we were late, but..."

"Where is she?"  
  
"Nice to see you too."

"Kev, cut him some slack, okay?" I hear Weiss say.  
  
I push past them all and get to the van just as Sydney slowly starts to emerge. Once she has both feet on the ground, she looks up, and seeing me, she starts forward only to have her knees buckle. I quickly move to catch her, holding on until I'm certain she can do this by herself. And then I don't let go.  
  
We walk slowly past the others on our way inside. When we reach the door, I notice that no one is following us. I know I have Weiss to thank for that and I will thank him, but not now. 

Leading Sydney to a chair beside the desk, I help her sit before I take a seat on the desk. There is so much I want to say, but we remain silent, just looking at each other. When I see tears pooling in her eyes, I finally speak. "Sssh. It's okay."

She nods and then a sob escapes and the floodgates open. I kneel before her, pulling her into my arms and I just let her cry. A few minutes later, she pulls back, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

I don't want to rush her, but I'm sure they'll have the plane ready any time now and when it is, we'll have to leave. "Syd, I need to know where you're hurt. We don't have much time, but I want to make sure that you are able to fly home, that you don't need more medical attention than I can provide, okay?"

"Okay."

I can see the tears in the jacket and her pants, but I want her to tell me where I need to start. "Where?"

She unzips the jacket, she carefully removing it. "Here," she states, pointing to an angry looking scrape above her left elbow.

I go and retrieve the first aid kit, hoping that it has everything I'll need. I grab some gauze and soak it in alcohol. "Syd, I'm sorry, but this is all we've got. It's going to hurt."  
  
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, gripping the arm of the chair with her right hand. She hisses when I apply the alcohol to the cut and I want more than anything to stop, but I know I can't. Fortunately, the scrape isn't deep and a bit of gauze and some tape and it's taken care of. "Where else?"

Ten minutes later, her left shoulder blade, the small of her back, and her right calf have all been attended to; the minor cuts and scrapes cleaned as well. "Hodges told Weiss that you were unconscious when they found you."

"I was. The wind blew me into a tree and the chute got tangled in some branches. I hit my head on one of them. When I came to, they were cutting me down."

"Where?" 

"Vaughn, it isn't bad. There's a little scratch and a bit of a bump, but that's all."

I lean down and repeat my question. She finally gives in and pulls her hair back, revealing an abrasion just behind her ear. She's right, it isn't bad, but I had to see for myself. I stand back up and grab her jacket from the desk, handing it back to her, but she just shakes her head.

"Do you have my bag?"

I look at her for a second, trying to remember if I brought it in with me when I first arrived. "It's still on the plane."

"Can someone get it?"  
  
"I'm sure they could. Why?" I ask as I hold her hand in mine, my thumb caressing the soft skin.

"I can't be in these anymore."

I nod, reluctantly letting go of her hand and I walk to the door. Calling Weiss over, I tell him what I need and he returns quickly, bag in hand.  
  
"They are almost refueled. We should be ready to leave in about ten minutes."

"She just wants to change. We'll be out in a few minutes."

"How is she?" he asks quietly as he peers around my shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of her.  
  
"The wounds are minor. The rest? I don't know," I reply, knowing that Weiss is asking about more than her physical well-being. 

"I'm going to go get things situated on the plane. I'll see what I can do about finding a place where Syd will be comfortable. Do you need anything else before I go?"

I shake my head and he starts off across the tarmac. "Hey Weiss!" I call out to him.

"What?" he asks as he turns back to face me.

My 'thank you' is lost in the din as the plane's engines start up, but Weiss nods and I know he understood what I tried to say. I shift the bag in my hand as I close the door behind me. Walking over to where Sydney is still sitting, I hold the bag out to her.  
  
She wipes her eyes again as she takes it from me. "Thanks."

I don't answer her right away. Instead I watch as she pulls her clothes from the bag. When her hand starts to undo the button on her pants, I turn around quickly. "I'll be outside."  
  
"Vaughn..."

Her voice stops me before I've even taken a step. "What?"  
  
"Don't go. Please."

I reach behind me, feeling for the edge of the desk, keeping my back to her the entire time. I can hear the zipper part, followed by the sound of the cloth rustling as she removed the slacks.

She changes quickly, muffled moans escaping as she moves in ways that will probably be painful for the next few days. As I hear her soft cries, I feel as if I've been beaten and left fighting for my next breath. And then her hand is on my shoulder and breathing becomes easier again.

"Vaughn?" she questions, moving to stand in front of me. After a moment, she tentatively reaches out to dry my cheek.  
  
I take her hand in mine, squeezing it gently. "We should be going."

She nods once again. Still holding my hand, she carefully picks up her clothes, stuffing them roughly in the bag. Handing it to me, she starts to lead me to the door.

"What do you want me to do with these?"

"Burn them."

We reach the door and I stop her before she steps outside. I pull her backwards until her back is pressed against me. Wrapping my arms carefully around her waist, I whisper, "I don't ever want to be scared like that again."

She takes a deep breath and places her hands over mine. Exhaling slowly, she answers, "Neither do I."  
  
********  
_"Vaughn_..."

I'm jolted from my thoughts by the sound of Sydney's voice. I turn to look at her only to find her still sleeping. I gently place my hand on her head, softly stroking her silky hair.  
**  
**I hear her sigh as she shifts closer. As she moves, I notice the change in her expression and I know she's in pain. I once again debate whether or not I should wake her, but in the end I decide to just let her sleep. She took something when we landed in DC to refuel and the drugs just probably haven't taken complete effect yet.  
**  
**I smile as I remember the way she panicked when she realized she was not going to be back in time for dinner with Francie and Will. It was as if the past few hours had never happened and that dinner was the most important thing in the world to her.  
**  
**The phone call to her roommate made me realize just how much she has to sacrifice on a daily basis. I've always known what she's had to give up in this crazy life she leads, but knowing and actually seeing it are different matters entirely. I still don't know how she manages to find the strength to continue, but somehow, she always does. It's just one of the many things that make her so extraordinary.  
**  
**I lean back slightly as I continue to stroke her hair, the simple pleasure of this act is something I could get used to very quickly. I close my eyes, thinking about what we said to each other this morning. To hear her say she felt the same way I did still seems unreal.   
**  
**I'd always hoped that she did, but I hadn't allowed myself to dwell on the possibilities. And then I think about what Weiss said earlier and I realize that none of the times where I've almost lost Sydney was she ever truly mine to lose. 

But that all changed this morning. Now I do have something, _someone_ to lose. And as I drift off to sleep, I understand that I'll do whatever is necessary to make sure that doesn't happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN- TBC? 


	4. Black or Red part 4

For disclaimers and all that other fun stuff, please see the previous parts.

Thanks for reading!

Becky

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_Vaughn POV_

  
When Sydney's phone rang just a minute ago, I was certain that this was going to be it. I was so certain that everything that Sydney had to go through to get the information had been worth it. Certain that Jack would tell her the code was a match. Certain that soon, very soon, the nightmare of a double life Sydney has been leading the last year and a half would end.  
  
When she got up and turned away from me, obviously upset, I knew something was wrong. And I knew that it had to be something more than the codes not matching, but nothing could have prepared me for the news that Jack had been compromised.  
  
Even now, standing here watching her as she tries not to break down, tries not to give into the fear that must be gripping her, my mind still refuses to believe. I look back up at her and I can tell she's losing her fight, and not being able to hold her, to comfort her, is killing me.  
  
I glance around the room and am thankful that so far no one seems to really notice what is going on. But I know that won't last long, so I guide her out of the bullpen and into an empty meeting room. Once the door is closed behind us, I pull her to me, simply holding her as she finally lets go.  
  
It takes time, but Sydney's tears slow until at last they stop. She pulls away slightly, allowing her just enough space to wipe her eyes. I take this opportunity to lead her over to a chair, sitting her down. 

Pulling another chair out, I sit down next to her. I don't really want to do this, but there are questions that have to be asked and Sydney is the only one who has the answers. "Syd, are you certain, _absolutely certain,_ that you heard Jack correctly?"  
  
"Yes." She looks over at me, her eyes pleading with me to understand. "I know what he said, Vaughn."

"Okay, but this code you two came up with. It was just simply a warning for the other to stay away, right?"

"Uh huh."

"You're sure he wasn't trying to warn you that you've been compromised as well?" I watch as her expression freezes, my words, and their implications, registering quickly. I hold my breath for what seems like an eternity until she finally answers me.

"I don't know."

It isn't the answer I was hoping for. I run my hand through my hair, trying to figure out just how to break this news to Kendall when my thoughts are interrupted by Sydney's gasp. "What? What's wrong?"

"Oh, God. If that's what he was trying to tell me... Oh God..."  
  
"Syd, what is it?"

"Will and Francie."

"What about them?"

"If Geiger starts looking for me they won't be safe."

Sydney is a strong woman. One of the strongest I've ever known, but all of this, Geiger holding Jack, the likelihood of having been exposed, the possible threat to her friends, it all seems to hit her at once. The woman I see before me now reminds me of the one I saw a few months back, the one who had just learned about her father's betrayal. 

But this is so much worse, and there's only one thing I can do. I pull her chair beside mine and, for the second time in the last fifteen minutes, I wrap my arms around her, holding her as she breaks.

This time, it seems to be harder for her to pull herself back together, but somehow, some way, she does. I brush the few remaining tears from her cheek, my hand lingering there. I'm not sure whether I'm unable to let go, or just unwilling. For all I know, it's both.

My hand is still resting on her cheek, my thumb rubbing her skin lightly when I ask, "Syd, do you know where they are? Can you warn Will?"

She nods, her hand resting on mine. "Francie's at the restaurant, but I don't know where Will is right now. And I can't tell Fran what's really going on." She pulls my hand from her face, sandwiching it between hers. "Vaughn, what can I do?"

"Call the restaurant. Ask Francie if she knows where Will is. Who knows, maybe he'll be there," I state, trying to reassure her.

"And if he's not?"

"Syd, you'll have to leave a message with her to have him call you."

"But what if he doesn't go to there today?" she asks, the panic resurfacing.

"I don't know, but I'll see if Weiss can put surveillance on the restaurant. At least until you've talked to Will. Okay?"

I watch as she takes a deep breath in an effort to calm herself. "Okay. But what are we going to do about my dad and what about the code?"

"I'll call Kendall and let him know what's happened and see if he has any suggestions. But right now, go call Will and I'll get Weiss moving on getting some people over to Francie's."

Sydney nods and gets up. Just as she passes me, I reach out and take hold of her hand. I know she won't believe me, but I have to try and reassure her anyway. "Syd, it'll be okay."

She squeezes my hand briefly before letting go. "I hope you're right."

  
  
********

_Sydney POV_

  
I'm standing here trying to figure out how to tell Vaughn what I need to tell him. _And I thought convincing Will to leave town with Francie was going to be hard._ We both know we need that code. It's the only chance that my father has. _  
_  
Time is a funny thing. Whenever you are waiting for something, it seems to drag on endlessly. On the other hand, when you are worried about something that has yet to happen, something you want to prevent, time moves so swiftly that all you want to do is turn the hands on the clock back. And when you combine the two, the worrying and the waiting, chaos is the only result.   
  
Yet one good thing has come from that chaos. I close my eyes briefly, forcing myself to focus on my plan. Like I've told him, I know I can't go myself. That was never my intention. But I'm not stupid. I know he won't like what I'm about to suggest. "Vaughn..."

He grabs my elbow gently, but firmly, and leads me back into the room we'd been in earlier. Once inside, he lets go of my arm, fixing his hands to my shoulders instead. "Sydney, if you think I'm going to let you go get that code, you're wrong." 

I start to protest, but he cuts me off. "I'm serious. If I have to place you in a cell with _her_ to make sure you stay put, I will."

I shake myself loose and take a couple of steps back, putting a bit of space between us. "I have no intention of setting foot inside SD-6 without full CIA backup," I counter as I watch Vaughn warily sit on the edge of a table before I continue. "But I'm not going to just forget that Geiger has my father either."

He looks up at me quickly. "Syd, I wasn't suggesting..."

"I know, but you don't understand. I am not going to leave my father there. I _can't_. I have an idea of how we can get the code, but you are going to have to let me do this my way; otherwise, it will never work."  
  
Vaughn closes his eyes briefly before looking back at me. "Does your plan involve leaving this building?"

I square my shoulders and place my hands on my hips. I can't bring myself to look at him, so I study the wall just behind his shoulder. "I think you already know the answer to that."  
  
Vaughn stands up quickly, closing the gab between us with a single step. Again his hands grip my shoulders, this time, a bit more firmly than the last. "You are _not _leaving this building."  
  
"Damn it, Vaughn! I've just told Will that he and Francie have to leave town. And I'm not even sure that once they do, that they will be safe. And what about their families? Do you think SD-6 will just go, 'Oh we can't find those two so let's just wait until they come back?' You know they won't. They will use whatever means necessary to get to them because they know that this is the best way to get to me."

"Syd..."

"No! Don't tell me they won't because we both know better." I shake myself free and start pacing in front of him. "God! I'm scared, Vaughn. Do you hear me? I'm _scared_! Do you think I want to leave here?" I don't even give him a chance to respond before I continue, "I don't, but I'm not going to sacrifice my father or my friends just so I can stay safe. _I won't!_"  
  
As I pass him again, he reaches out and grabs my arm, forcing me to stop. "Syd, I'm not suggesting that you sacrifice _anyone_. I'm simply saying that you can't leave. Geiger has probably figured out by now that you aren't coming in. They are going to be looking for you."

"Will you just listen to my idea? Please," I beg, looking up at him as a tear slowly slides down my cheek, "hear me out."

His left hand gently brushes the tear away as his right falls to his side. "What is your plan?"

"I need to tell Dixon what's going on."

********

Ten minutes later, I'm still trying to make Vaughn listen to reason. "Don't you understand? I'm the only one who can do this."

"Do you honestly think you can get Dixon to do this on just your word? Syd, be reasonable."

"Um, guys, do you want to keep it down a bit? You're starting to draw a crowd."

We both turn as Weiss comes into the room. Closing the door, he looks first at Vaughn, then at me. He puts his hands in his pocket and leans against the wall before asking, "So, what's going on?"

Vaughn and I stare at each other silently before I finally turn and answer Weiss' question. "I'm _trying_ to get him to accept that my telling Dixon is the _only _hope we have of getting the code."

"And I'm trying to make her realize that while that might be true, she can't be the one to do this because Security Section is probably already looking for her."

Weiss studies his shoes for moment before looking up at Vaughn. "She's right." He immediately holds up his hands, adding, "But so are you," when he sees Vaughn is about to protest.

"So what do you suggest we do?" Vaughn asked.

"Mike, you may not want to hear this, but Sydney has to do this. She _has_ to be the one to talk to Dixon. She's the only one who can. Because if she doesn't..."

"If she doesn't what?"

Weiss pushes off from the wall, joining us near the table. "I know neither of you wants to hear this, but if Jack has been compromised like Sydney believes, chances are she has been as well." He looks at Vaughn. "That's what you're thinking, isn't it?"

We watch as Vaughn silently agrees with Weiss' assessment. "Right. And if that's the case, she'll be put in witness protection and there won't be anything any of us can do."  
  
As bad as things are right now, as bad as they might get, being forced into the program was not something that had even crossed my mind. Hearing it stated, _out loud_, scares the hell out of me. _As if I wasn't scared enough already. _And then I take a deep breath and I know what I have to do. I'm _not_ letting Sloane, SD-6, or the Alliance take anything, or _anyone_ else from me.

"Where are you going?"  
  
I turn back to answer Vaughn's question. "To call Dixon. Do whatever you think necessary, but I'm going. And I'm going now."

  
tbc... 


	5. Black or Red part 5

For disclaimers, please see the previous parts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm trying to work up the nerve to walk in here and lie to someone I care about. When I finally learned the truth about Sydney, about what she does and who she _really_ is, the one thing I thought I understood was how hard it must have been for her to lie to us. Now I know I never had a clue.

After I finished talking to Sydney, I know what I did next was really stupid. I went back to the apartment and packed a bag for Francie. For myself, I just grabbed the few things I'd left when I'd stayed with them after Taipei. If things are as bad as I think they are, going back was a risk, but I know Fran. I hadn't already done this, she would have insisted on stopping at home first. And that's a risk I wasn't willing to take.

So now, here I am, outside her restaurant. I've been pacing this little stretch of sidewalk for more than five minutes now and I still wonder if I'll be able to do this. I've never been good at lying. And I have a feeling that will have to change.  
  
I glance at my watch and I know I've stalled long enough. Opening the door, I walk in, seeing Tony and Fran sitting at the bar, probably going over the menu for the next few days. I move forward, pulling out the chair next to Francie. "Hey."

She turns to face me, a huge grin spreading across her face. This is still so weird. Two days ago, she was just my best friend. And now? Hell, I don't know, but I think I like this better. No, I _know_ I like this better.

"Will?" she asks, laughing as she tries to get my attention.

I realize that I've been staring and spacing and I can feel the blood rushing to my face. I start to laugh, shaking my head. "Sorry. It's just..."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. This is just so bizarre."

"But good, right?" I ask nervously.

She leans over and softly kisses my cheek before answering. "Yeah."  
  
I release the breath I didn't realize I was holding. Listening to her say she thinks we aren't a bad idea is one of the greatest things I've ever heard. And it makes what I'm about to do that much more difficult. 

I reach over and grab her hand as I look back at her. "This is probably going to sound crazy, but what do you think about going away with me for a couple of days?"

"Will, what are you talking about?" she replies, looking at me like I've lost my mind. "I can't just leave. You know that."

"Fran, it's just for a couple of days."

"But the restaurant," she protests as she motions to the room around us.

"The restaurant will be fine." I can see she's about to disagree, so I continue quickly. "Weren't you saying a couple of days ago that you wished you could just get away for the weekend?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"But nothing. You've already planned everything for the next week." Before she can deny it, I glance over at Tony. "She has, hasn't she?"

"And the week after that."

"Tony!"

Tony throws his hands up in surrender. "Hey, he asked," he states simply before he retreats to the safety of the kitchen.

I watch as she looks back at me, almost daring me to say something. Normally, I'd probably just go ahead and say what I'm thinking, but not today. "Francie, you've got things all planned out. I think Tony is more than capable of taking care of things for a couple of days. After all, isn't that why he's your assistant manager?"

"Will..."  
  
I lean over, draping my right arm around her shoulder, my hand resting on the back of her neck. "Listen, I'm not taking no for an answer. I have to check out this place and write a review for the magazine. I could really use your help evaluating the restaurant at the hotel. Besides," I add, smiling at her, "it could be fun."

Francie just looks at me and I can tell she's beginning to cave. But then she shakes her head and I know I'm back at square one. "Will, I can't just leave."

I begin gently massaging her neck, watching as she closes her eyes at the sensation. I continue gently needing the muscles, feeling them loosen under my touch. "Yes, you can. And you will," I whisper.

"Will," she sighs as she leans closer, and I know I've won. So why doesn't it feel like it?

I stop the massage, allowing my hand to slowly slide down her arm until finally, my hand covers hers. "Come on," I say as I get up, waiting as she does the same and then I pull her close and we start walking to the door.

When we are almost there, I turn back to see Tony coming out of the kitchen. "Hey Tony, I'm kidnapping the boss for a few days. You can handle things, right?"

"I'll try," he says with a smile. "You two have a good time."

I start to answer, but Francie speaks first. "We will. Just make sure..."

I usher her out the door before she can finish her sentence. "See ya, Tony."

He laughs. "Bye, Will. Good luck getting her to relax."

"I'll see what I can do. If we're going to be any longer than two or three days, I'll call and let you know."

"Hey, no worries. Things here will be fine."

Francie pokes her head back through the open door. "Are you coming?"

"I think I've created a monster."  
  
"You think?" Tony asks as Francie grabs my arm and pulls me out the door.

Once I'm outside, I see Fran looking for my Jeep. "Um, over here," I state as I walk to the rental I picked up before I came here.

"Will, where's your car?"

"I get an expense account. I figured for the drive up the coast, this might be a little more comfortable." At the mention of a drive up the coast, I can see her starting to get excited about this impromptu trip.

"Where are we going?"  
  
I open the passenger door. "You'll see."

  
********

I still don't know what could be so important that Sydney had to see me before I go into the office. And why is she so adamant about meeting me way out here? When Diane gave me the message, she'd asked if everything was alright because Sydney hadn't sounded like herself. It just doesn't make sense.

But then again, a lot about Sydney doesn't make sense. After I confronted her about what she was doing when I found her outside of Santa Barbara last spring, I thought long and hard before I went to Sloane. Reporting her was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but for some reason, I have a feeling that's about to change.  
  
As I slow down to turn off the highway, I pass a car and tow truck at the side of the road. Waiting for oncoming traffic to pass, I watch as the driver of the truck points something out to the two men beside him. From the looks on their faces, I'm guessing the news isn't good.

Finally, I'm able to turn and I forget about the broken down car, and I go back to wondering what I'm in for.

  
********

  
I've been walking around, pacing along side my car, waiting for Dixon to arrive. I try not to think about what could be going on at SD-6 right now, but it's not working. Because the harder I try not to think about it, the more I do, until finally, it's all I can think about.

I stop pacing, taking several deep breaths in an attempt to regain some shred of control over my emotions. At least there is one thing I don't have to worry about. Vaughn told me that Will had called about five minutes ago, leaving word that he and Francie were on the way to Napa. I don't know what he did to convince her to go away with him and I don't really care. All that matters is that they will be out of harm's way. _They_ will be safe.

As that thought runs through my mind, I think about the first time I came here and I realize that the man who is on his way to meet me is just as much a victim in this whole damned mess as Danny was.

_Danny..._ My breath hitches as I remember meeting him here. I remember the look on his face as I tried to explain, tried to make him understand why I had lied to him from the very beginning. His expression after I'd finished explaining myself is one I'll never forget. And I've tried. _God, how I've tried.  
_  
I feel the tears welling, begging for release as I remember it. The look of betrayal, confusion, anger, hurt... I'd always told him that he had expressive eyes. That day they were on overload, a storm raging behind his beautiful blue eyes.

I stop pacing and lean heavily against my car, my fingers clutching, digging at the small gap next to the hood as I remember the way he asked about San Diego. I could tell, just from his tone, that he was hoping this trip wasn't just another lie, that maybe this time, I was telling him the truth. When I didn't answer, he just closed his eyes and nodded slightly as I told him I'd call when I got back.

As I think about how he pleaded with me to be careful, Vaughn's voice is quiet in my ear. I don't know how, but I manage to choke out a response, letting him know that I understand Dixon will be here soon. I move around to the front of my car as I try to push back everything I'm feeling, everything I'm remembering, trying to find the strength to do what I know needs to be done. 

I inhale deeply as Dixon gets out of his car. With a final reassurance from Vaughn, I move to stand before my partner, my _friend_, a man I trust with my life. The man who is my only hope of saving my father, my friends, and I suppose, me. The man whose life I'm about to turn upside down. As I try to figure out where to start, my only thought is that someday in the future he will hopefully be able to forgive me for what I've done. And for what I'm about to do.  



	6. Black or Red part 6

"He's here," she whispers.

I can hear the trepidation in her voice. I know I was against this meeting, but I've also come to realize that she was right. This is the only way we'll be able to get the code. But that's only if she's able to convince Dixon that what she's telling him is the truth.  
  
I wander past Weiss, who's leaning against the side of the car talking to Frank. Pretending to have car trouble was the best cover we could come up with on such short notice. I only hope it's good enough. 

As worried as I am about the possibility of this little charade of ours being discovered, one thing worries me more. And that is the possibility that Security Section has already gotten to Dixon, convinced him to bring Sydney back to SD-6.

I hear what sounds like a car door shutting and I wish I was closer so that if something does go wrong, I'd be there. I'd be able to help her. But I'm not up there with her, I'm down here. Waiting. And I feel helpless. Useless. And I _hate _that.

I listen as she takes a deep, shuddering breath and I want to reassure her that this is going to work, maybe reassuring myself in the process, but just as I'm about to speak, I hear the sound of something hitting metal and then I hear nothing. I look over at Weiss. "What the hell was that?"  
  
"No clue." He pauses for a minute, confused by the silence. "Are you getting anything?"  
  
I listen, straining to hear something over the sound of the traffic. It takes only a second before I realize what's happened. "Damn it!"  
  
"What?"

"She took them off. _DAMN IT!" _I pound my fist on the hood of the car. "Jesus, what the hell is she thinking?"

Weiss doesn't answer; he just climbs inside the car and closes the door. I stare at him through the glass before I open my door, asking him what the hell he thinks he's doing.  
  
"Just get in the car. I think I heard something."

My breath catches and I get in quickly, just in time to hear Dixon shout Sydney's name. When I hear Sydney begging, pleading with him to wait, I reach for the key, prepared to go racing up there even though I know I'd be too late. A second later I hear her screaming at him to listen to her and my hand drops back on to the seat. As she pleads her case, I finally release the breath I didn't know I was holding.  
  
Weiss shifts in the seat, turning to face me. "Did that sound like a car door?"  
  
I simply nod, waiting to hear some indication that Sydney is okay.

"Mike, we need to get out before he gets back down here."

I know he's right, but suddenly I can hear Sydney more clearly and I know she's picked up her sunglasses again which I assume means that she is okay. At least physically.

We both get out and move back to the front of the car, watching as Frank slides underneath, trying to keep up the pretense that our car has broken down. I wait impatiently for Dixon's car to reappear, all the while listening to Sydney as she cries and mutters something which I can't understand.

After what seems like an eternity, Dixon's car finally appears. And still we have to wait, traffic having picked up enough that he can't get back on the highway immediately. Two minutes later, his car has disappeared over the hill. I climb back into the car quickly, barely allowing enough time for Frank to get out from underneath and Weiss to get in before I have the car in gear, backing up, and tearing up the dirt road.

"Jesus, Mike! Would you slow down?"

I ignore Weiss' protests, knowing that he's subjected me to worse, much worse. As I reach the crest, I can see Sydney leaning against her Jeep. Pulling up beside her, I jump out of the car just as her knees buckle and she sinks to the ground, her fingers clutching the grill as sobs wrack her shaking body.

I crouch down in front of her, my left hand resting lightly on top of hers. She lifts her head slowly, tears and mascara running down her cheek. I reach over, my thumb gently wiping away the black trail. "Syd?"

Her head falls against my chest and her hand grips mine tightly. "Vaughn, he..." her voice catches and she tries to continue, "he doesn't..." She tries again. " I don't think he believes me."

Again, I'm overcome with the need to take her as far away from here as possible. But I know I can't. Even if I could, she wouldn't go. So I do the only thing I can. I put my arms around her and hold her.

********

I fold myself into his embrace, his warmth temporarily thawing the chill that is as much a part of me as my skin. I know he's waiting for me to explain, but I just can't find the words. Not yet. Instead, I rest my head against his chest, allowing the simple rise and fall with each breath to calm me.

After a few minutes, I pull away, knowing that I need to tell him what happened, knowing that we need to get back. Placing my hand on the bumper, I slowly force myself to stand. "Vaughn..."

He rises as well, moving closer, resting his hand on my shoulder. "Syd, why don't you tell me on the way back."

"Okay," I agree willingly.

His hand slides down to the small of my back, a reassuring pressure that helps guide me to the car. As I climb in, he asks for my keys so Frank can finish and head back. I place them in his hand and his fingers slide over my palm as he takes them. The sense of déjà-vu is frightening. I collapse against the seat as he walks away, thoughts of Danny and that last day overwhelming me.

I stare out the window to my left, trying to banish the memories as the tears begin to fall again. But the images shift, they change. First it's Danny that I see staring back at me. But it's not really me he's staring at, it's a stranger, a woman he doesn't know. And then his face is replaced by Dixon's. But even though their faces change, the expression doesn't. _It_ remains the same, a look of betrayal.  
  
Vaughn starts to get in beside me and I scoot closer to the window, drying my eyes quickly. He says something to Weiss and closes the door, sliding next to me. I keep my gaze focused on the movement of the derrick. Up and down. Up. Down. A never-ending cycle. Like my life. Only for me, it's an unending cycle of lies and betrayals.

"Syd?"

His voice is quiet, soothing, as he turns me, forcing me to look at him. His eyes show surprise at the redness of mine and I just shake my head, trying to let him know, without words, that I'll be okay.

Vaughn nods as he pulls me back into his embrace. He looks up at Weiss, who's looking in the rear-view mirror at us. "Go."


	7. Black or Red part 7

I pull into the parking garage at SD-6, still not believing anything that has happened in the past hour. As what Sydney told me runs though my mind yet again, I try to figure out who told her these lies. Lies so convincing that she willingly started working against her own government.

A moment later, I decide I don't care. There will be a time and place for answers, but now is not that time. Now is for proving her wrong and trying to protect her until she is able to turn in the party or parties responsible for this betrayal.

As I get out of my car, some of things Sydney told me finally sink in and I start wondering, _doubting_, myself. I step into the elevator thinking about something I dismissed long ago. Maybe I just wanted to forget about how easily Cole was able to break into SD-6. How easy it was for him to get past all the security measures that are in place to supposedly keep us safe.   
  
At the time, I'd assumed that they had managed to cut all lines of communication and that was the reason why the CIA didn't send in a team to help us. But what if Sydney is right? It would explain a lot.

I shake the thought from my head, becoming angry with myself for trying to justify the insanity of this situation. Pressing the proper button on the panel, the elevator jerks to life. I lean back against the wall, closing my eyes. 

As it slowly descends, I think about what Sydney said about my questioning her loyalties a few months back. When I turned her in, I'd hoped that there would be an explanation for what she'd been doing. And Jack provided one. 

When I went to see her, to tell her that she'd been cleared, I told her that there were times that we don't listen to our hearts. That we don't listen to what we know to be true. And that's when we lose ourselves. We betray ourselves. But even as I sat there, trying to explain why I'd done what I had, there was something about her reaction, or her lack of one, that bothered me. But like I'd done so many times in the past, I pushed that nagging distrust aside.

The elevator slows to a stop and I push myself away from the wall. I stand, waiting for the doors to open, fingering the piece of paper in my pocket. I'm prepared to prove Sydney wrong. But when I do, what happens next?  
  
********

"You know, I think maybe this was exactly what I needed."

"What?" I ask, my mind elsewhere.

She says my name, laughing lightly before repeating her previous statement.

"How so?"

"I've just been so busy trying to make the restaurant work, that I didn't realize how much I'd missed just doing things. Spontaneous things. Fun things." She slides a little closer, resting her head on my shoulder. "Fun things with you."

My throat tightens and I wonder for the millionth time if this is how Sydney felt every time she had to lie to us. And if it was, how the hell did she deal with it because I feel like I'm going to go insane. "I've missed doing things with you too."

Francie pushes a button on the radio, trying to find something decent to listen to. "Did you bring any CDs with you?"  
  
I glance at her for a second before returning my focus to the road. "Check the backpack in the back seat." I'm rewarded with a huge smile before she turns around and grabs the pack, dragging it up to rest in her lap.

"So where are we going? You never did tell me," she states as she searches through the CDs she's found.

I know I'd left word for Sydney that we'd be going to Napa. But on my way to pick up Fran, paranoia set in and I realized that maybe I shouldn't have said where we were going. Then I remembered my parents telling me about this place they stayed for their anniversary. One quick call and everything was set. "Well, I thought the assignment was in Napa, but when I checked in just before I got to the restaurant, they told me I was going to check out this place in Morro Bay."

"Okay. So what is it that you need me to do?" Fran asks as she slips a CD into the player.  
  
"Just relax and have fun." I glance over again to find her staring at me. "What?"

"I thought you said, you needed my help with this."

I see a rest stop up ahead and decide to pull over for a moment. Once I've stopped the car, I turn to face her. "I do need your help, but I want you to have fun too. You deserve a break." I reach over, placing my hand on her shoulder, my fingers lightly running down her arm. "You've been working so hard for the last six months. I just want you to relax and have a good time."

"Will," she sighs as a brilliant smile spreads across her face. A moment later, she's kissing me and for just a moment I let myself get caught up in the lie.

She pulls away and the illusion disappears. I pull her back to me, not ready to let her go; not ready to let go of the wish that this could be more than just a lie.

A moment later we separate, breathless. "Wow."

I take a deep breath. "Wow what?" I ask as what I'm sure is a goofy looking smile overruns my face.

Fran leans closer, wiping some lipstick from my face. "I still can't believe we're really doing this."

I know what she's talking about, but I can't help teasing her just a bit. "What? Going off for a mini-vacation?"

She smacks my shoulder playfully and I try to look wounded. "You know what I mean."

My expression changes back to the goofy smile as I answer her. "Yeah, I do."

Fran sits back and I swear she's studying me. For just a moment, I get nervous. I've never been a good liar. "Fran?"

"I just don't get it."  
  
"Don't get what?" I ask warily.

"Well, when Sydney told me about your little, um _encounter_, last year..."

"I can't believe you're bringing this up, but since you did, what about it?"  
  
I know I'm in trouble when I look back at her and she's staring right at me. "Well she said... No, just forget I said anything."

I lean over and run my finger very lightly along her jaw, trailing it down her neck. "Fran..."

"No. I'm not going to tell you."

I have a feeling I'm not going to like what I'm about to hear, but I can't help asking anyway. "What did she say?"

"Don't we need to get going?"

"The room is confirmed. The hotel isn't going anywhere." I lean closer, lazily draping my arm around her shoulder. "You were saying?"

She turns slightly and when I see her expression, I'm really worried about what she's going to say. "Well let's just say that there was no way that you _ever_ kissed Sydney like you kissed me a minute ago. You couldn't have."

"What makes you say that?"

"Trust me. If you'd _ever_ kissed her like that, I wouldn't be the one sitting here."

I just shake my head. Removing my arm from around her shoulder, I slide back behind the wheel. For the first time since we left L.A., there is not one small part of what I'm about to say that is a lie. I glance over at her, waiting until she looks at me. "Yes, you would."  
  
********

I stare at the screen. I don't seem to be able to do anything else. All the way over here, I told myself that she was wrong. That _she'd_ been the one who'd been lied to. I'd planned on proving it so that I could help her extricate herself from whatever group she'd become involved with. I never imagined that she would be right.

I glance around the room, acutely aware that someone could walk up behind me at any moment and see what I've discovered. I memorize the code I see and quickly sign out of the system. 

I log back in, using my own ID and password this time. Opening up my email, I type in the information and queue the message. But I can't seem to send it. For whatever reason, I just can't force myself to hit send. 

I'm tempted to try logging back in with the information Sydney gave me, but somehow, I doubt the results would be any different this time. Slowly, the shock starts to wear off, leaving me with the reality of what I've been doing all this time, for whom I've been working.

The numbness that has enveloped me since I first saw the screen has been replaced with a slow-building anger. Anger with Jack for recruiting me, with Sloane for using me, but mostly it is directed at Sydney for shattering my belief in what I do, for lying to me for I don't know how long, but mostly because of the fact that she only told me because she had no other choice.

I sit back in my chair wondering how long it would have taken her to tell me if things had been different. Now, I'll never know. I'm sure she'll have some explanation, and somewhere down the road, I'm sure I'll accept what she'll tell me. But right now, I don't want to hear it.

Taylor and Wilson pass my desk, whispering something about Jack Bristow and, as much as I don't want to think about her, I can't help thinking about Sydney's plea to help her. To help her father. I lean forward, reaching for the phone. I'll send the email, but I need to do something else first. 


	8. Black or Red part 8

For all disclaimers, please see the previous parts.

Thanks for reading!

Becky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watch as Will slips the key card into the lock. I hear the faint click and then he pushes the door open. Stepping through, he moves to the side, holding the door open for me, allowing me to enter. As I look around the room, I still can't believe we are really here, just the two of us. 

I wander around, taking in the luxury of the room before going over to the window. Pulling the drapes back, I'm amazed by the view of the bay. It truly is spectacular and it isn't even sunset. As I think about how beautiful that will be, a smile spreads across my face. I just hope Will needs my help on more of these trips, because I could really get used to this.

I'm still staring out at the bay when he comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder. "So, what do you think?"

I turn around to face him, my smile widening. "I think that I really like your new job."

His expression freezes for the briefest of seconds and then a sheepish grin takes over. "Really?"

"Yes." 

"Fran, you don't know how glad I am that you're not mad at me."

I place a light kiss on his lips as I place my hand gently against his cheek. "Why would I be mad at you?" I ask, my smile disappearing.

He places his hand over mine and brings it to his lips. He places a tender kiss on my palm before his eyes meet mine. "I just thought that because I can't help at the restaurant as much now…"

My confusion is evident because he starts talking faster, trying to explain what he means.

"I mean, I know you understand why I had to take the job and all, but I feel like I left you without any help."

I shake my head, laughing as I lean back against the wall. "Will, you're a writer. You can't honestly think that I expected you to continue bussing tables when you could get a job doing what you want, no _love_, to do."

"But…"

I move forward, silencing his protestations with a kiss. I wrap my arms around him and pull back just enough to look at him. "I swear, I was never going to tell you this, but…"

He straightens himself, his look wary. "You weren't going to tell me what?"

I drop my arms to my side and lean back against the wall. "You were a horrible waiter."

Honestly, I wish I had a camera, because when I tell Sydney about this, she's not going to believe me. I start laughing as Will's mouth continues to open and close. I can't believe it, but I have rendered Will Tippin speechless.

I turn away, knowing that if I continue to watch him, I'll never stop laughing. I close my eyes and take several deep breaths and after a couple of minutes, I feel calm enough to turn back around because I really need to apologize for laughing.

When I look back up at him though, I start laughing again. Harder this time than before. He shakes his head and moves away, and I know I've hurt him without meaning to. I rush forward, reaching for his shoulder. My fingers slide off and I stop dead in my tracks. "Will, I'm so sorry. I was just kidding."

Just as the last word leaves my mouth, he stops. Neither of us speaks and I'm starting to get worried that I've just screwed up something I never thought I would, never _could_ screw up. I take a step closer and Will turns back around. And then I want to kill him. Or at the very least, wipe the smug look off his face.

"That was _so_ easy," he laughs, closing the distance between us.

"You think so?"

I stand still as he winds his arms around my waist once again. "Don't need to think. I know."

He brushes his lips against mine and then he begins to really kiss me. I mean _really_ kiss me, and I swear all coherent thought leaves me. A moment later he pulls away slowly and I have to lean against him, because right now I don't trust my legs to keep me standing.

Will must sense this because he slowly begins moving backwards until the back of my legs hits the edge of the bed. He helps me sit and when he kneels before me that smug look is back.

"So, what would you like to do first?"

I think he has just asked the dumbest question of all time. Instead of voicing my response, I just lean forward, grab his head, and attack him. There's only one problem with my plan. Will's balance sucks.

Seconds later we both fall to the floor, landing next to each other, laughing our asses off. I roll onto my side and watch him as he does the same and suddenly, neither of us is laughing.

He reaches out and gently brushes the hair back from my face. I can't take my eyes off him, and I'm beginning to wonder if tonight will be the night when our friendship becomes something more.

"Will…"

He places a finger against my lips, silencing me. Looking at him, I think he knows what I'm thinking, what I was about to say, to ask.

"We've got time, Fran. Plenty of time."

I nod my head, watching as he stands up. When he holds out his hand, I take it, allowing him to help me up. Once we are both standing, he pulls me to him and places a soft kiss on my forehead. "Let's go get some dinner."

I remain silent but take his hand in mine, and he begins to lead me to the door. Once we are out in the hall, I rest my head against his shoulder, just listening to him as he maps out our evening. As we wait for the elevator, I start to get nervous about what will happen when we come back.

The elevator finally arrives and as the door closes I realize that Will's right. We have plenty of time.


	9. Black or Red part 9

Please see parts 1-4 for all disclaimers.

Thanks to Jen for the beta. Wonderful as always. J

Sorry this part is so short and has taken so long. Hopefully the ones that will follow will make up for it.

Thanks for reading!

Becky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stare at the screen, silently pleading with it to do something. Another moment passes and still nothing happens. I exhale slowly, continuing to stare at the monitor.

I hate waiting. For my newspaper in the morning, in line at the Starbucks three blocks from my apartment, in traffic. But this is the worst. This is like being in a hospital waiting for news about a friend or loved one where all you can do is pray for everything to be okay even though you anticipate the worst.

I hazard a glance at Sydney, watching briefly as she wraps her hair around her finger over and over and over again. I can't even imagine what this is like for her. I don't really want to. Just one look at Mike and I can tell that he is doing enough of that for everyone in the Ops Center.

Honestly, I don't know how Sydney is able to function right now. On more than one occasion, I've been amazed at how she can push everything back, focusing only on the objective at hand. But even she has a limit. I just don't want to be there the day she realizes it.

On the way back here, I thought I'd seen the worst. Just listening to her talk about what had happened with Dixon had **_me_** wanting to pull over and just hold her and try to make it better. But she has Mike for that.

As hard as it was hearing her talk about Dixon's reaction, I think the worst came a few minutes later. And not just for Sydney but for Mike as well. At the mention of Danny's name, I glanced in the rear-view mirror and I saw Vaughn's reaction. But he, once again, pushed his feelings aside and just continued to hold her until there were no more words. He held her until there were no more tears. And then he helped her pull herself back together so that she could go on.

So now, here we are. Still waiting. Waiting for information we may never receive. I glance at Sydney and then at Mike and I just pray that, whichever way it goes, we don't have to wait much longer.

********

"Can't they just have burgers and fries like a normal restaurant?" I ask as I glance across the table.

"Will, couldn't you, just this once, be a little adventurous? Try something new."

I hold my menu up a little to hide my face. "_Try something new_," I mock.

"Did you say something?"

I look back up quickly, glad the restaurant is not very well lit. "I said I think I'll try the chicken."

She looks at me and I know she's not buying it. "Uh huh. Sure that's what you said." And then she flashes that smile and suddenly room service is sounding like one hell of an idea.

I'm about to suggest just that when our waiter appears. 

"Good evening. My name is Brad and I'll be your server tonight. Would you like to order a cocktail or perhaps some wine to begin?"

Before I can say anything, Francie asks for the wine list. _So much for **that**__ idea…_

"Can we have a few minutes to look this over?" she asks as she looks at me, suddenly concerned..

"Certainly. Take your time," he answers before moving across the room to check on another table.

"Fran? Is something wrong?"

"I…"

"What?" I ask worriedly.

"I'm not comfortable asking you this, but…" she begins quietly.

_Oh God._ I swallow hard, leaning closer and taking her hand in mine. "Ask me what?"

She squeezes my hand before continuing, "What kind of stuff do you need for your review? Are you on a budget or something like that?"

I laugh. A loud, robust, hearty laugh. I can't help it. "_That's_ what you are worried about?"

"Well, excuse me for thinking that something as trivial as what you need for your article might be important," she whispers angrily before she lets go of my hand and sits back in her chair.

"Fran, I'm sorry." I try to get her to look at me. When she won't, I just decide to continue. "I was just afraid it was going to be something, oh I don't know, _really_ serious." _Or more likely about the problem I supposedly had/have._

"Well forgive me if I think your first assignment for your new job is important. I just…"

I watch as she closes her eyes and shakes her head. I get out of my chair, moving to the one right beside her. Turning her so that she faces me, this time I wait until she is looking me before I speak. "Okay, I'm sorry." I reach over and grab her hand again. "When you asked for the wine list and then asked for a few minutes, I figured it was going to be about what happened last year."

"Will, I wasn't even thinking about that." I must not have been able to conceal my skepticism as she leans a little closer. "_Really_, I wasn't." She pauses briefly before continuing. "I don't think you know how proud I am of you."

"Huh?" _I think I've missed something_.

"Will, you admitted that you had a problem, you completed the program, did your community service, and you turned your life back around. How could I not be proud of you?"

"Fran…" She stops me from doing something _really_ stupid with a shake of her head.

"No. You know what?"

_I'm almost afraid to ask, but it doesn't stop me._ "What?"

"Tonight we are going to celebrate because we can." 

She smiles again, a little mischievously this time and I'm scared. **_REALLY_** scared. "What's that look for?"

"You said no budget, right?"

_Oh dear God…_


	10. Black or Red part 10

For all disclaimers, please see parts 1-3. 

Thanks to Jude and Jen for their betaing and thanks to everyone for reading.

Becky.

.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watch as Sydney exhales and I know the waiting is starting to get to her. Hell, I think it's getting to all of us, but as much as I like Eric and respect the other men and women I work with, right now my only concern is Sydney.

Who am I kidding here? From the moment she walked into the CIA, worrying about how to keep her safe, how to bring her home in one piece has been my sole focus. But somewhere along the way, it stopped being my job. It became my life. _She_ became my life. And right now, I want more than anything to wrap my arms around her and tell her that everything will be okay. But I can't.

I glance back at the computer and silently curse Dixon. _What the hell is taking him so long?_ As I look at the screen, I long for the mail icon to change before I shift my gaze back to Sydney, watching as she shifts nervously in her chair, fidgeting as she waits. As we all wait.

When I can't watch her any longer, I glance back at the computer and wonder if Dixon decided not to help. From what Sydney said of his reaction, it's possible he won't. And then I wonder if something, or more likely, _someone_, is preventing him from doing what Sydney has asked.

Again, my gaze is drawn back to Sydney by her frustrated sigh. As she leans forward and starts playing with her hair again, I can't help wondering what she'll do if Dixon doesn't, for whatever reason, send that email. And even if he does send it, what happens if the codes don't match?

I don't have time to think about it because suddenly the computer beeps, indicating a new message. I take a deep breath and scoot closer to the desk as Sydney opens the email.

As she announces that the codes are a match, I wonder how I'll ever be able to convince her to stay behind where she'll be safe. And then I realize that nothing I could say will make a difference because as much as I want to, I won't ask her to stay behind. I can't.

********

Standing here, I can feel Vaughn's eyes on me, but right now, I am trying to concentrate on what Kendall is saying. The problem is that I know that one small step to my left and I would bump into Vaughn. And maybe just that small contact would steady me, help me to do what I need to do.

But then again, it might just be my undoing. I shift slightly and force myself to focus on Kendall. When he announces the time the raids are to take place, my blood runs cold. I want, more than anything, to interrupt him, telling him we can't wait that long. That we are just wasting time. Time my father doesn't have.

Before I can form the words, he ends the briefing and the other agents hurry from the room, but I remain. And I'm not alone. Vaughn and Weiss have stayed as well. "And my father?" I ask as Kendall reaches the door.

"May I remind you, Agent Bristow, that our priority is the destruction of the Alliance?"

The fact he avoids answering my question is less than reassuring. "What about my father?"

"If Jack is still alive," he stops briefly as I inhale sharply, "I'm sorry, but it's possible they've already killed him. If they haven't, when the raid begins they probably will. I'm sorry, but Jack knew the risks."

"_He knew the risks?"_ Kendall is halfway out the door, but I grab his arm, forcing him to turn back and face me. "Is that all you have to say?"

"Yes it is." He looks at me like I'm nothing more than a petulant child that needs to be humored. "I know you want me to tell you that you and maybe agents Vaughn and Weiss can go in early, but I will not risk the success of this mission for the life of one man. Is that understood?"

I release his arm and take a couple of steps back. I try to speak, but I'm so enraged by his callous disregard for my father that I'm left speechless and shaking.

"If you think you'll have a problem with that, I can remove you from the team. Is that something I should be considering?"

"No," I finally reply, my voice a harsh whisper.

"I didn't think so," he smirks. "Now if you'll excuse me…"

He turns to leave again and this time I let him walk out. I'm so frustrated right now I don't know whether to scream or cry. But I realize that none of that will help my dad. Taking a deep breath, I turn to the only person who might be able, the only one who might be _willing_ to help.

I think Weiss knows what I'm about to ask Vaughn and I don't think it's something he wants to be a part of. Before I say anything, he excuses himself and leaves the room.

"Syd," Vaughn begins, "I…"

"I can't do this, Vaughn. I can't just wait around while Geiger does God-knows-what to my dad," I interrupt. "That's assuming he hasn't…" I can't finish the sentence.

"I know. Syd, believe me I know. But as much as I hate admitting this, Kendall is right. Our focus _has_ to be on the takedown of the Alliance."

I'm certain I can't have heard him correctly. "_Excuse me?_"

He tries to lead me to a chair, but I shake myself free, preferring to stand against the wall. He takes a deep breath and I know, I _know_, I'm not going to like what I'm about to hear.

He paces the length of the table twice before he finally stops in front of me. "Sydney, I know this isn't what you want to hear right now, but…"

"But what?"

"Jack knew what he was doing when he went back to get the code."

"You can't honestly think he had any idea that Geiger knew he was a double when he went back there."

"He's a smart man. I'm sure that he figured it was a possibility."

"What he knew or didn't know isn't the issue. The issue is the fact that we are standing here doing nothing. He's waiting for us to help him, Vaughn," I plead, as I fight to hold back the tears that threaten to fall.

"Until we know what Kendall's plan is, we have to wait."

"But…"

"Syd, we don't have any choice. We have to wait."

"And when we know?" I ask, biting my lip as I wait for his response.

"We'll see what we can do."

********

"Wine was such a _bad_ idea. Why did you let me drink so much?" I whine as Will tries to steady me as we walk back to our room.

"You were the one who wanted to celebrate."

With a little assistance, I'm able to manage the stairs without tripping. Well that's until we get to the landing at our floor. Somehow I think it's just safer, for both of us, if I don't try to stand up.

Getting to my knees, I start to crawl the rest of the way to the room, making sure I stick very close to the wall for support. Suddenly, the sound of Will's laughter echoes throughout the hall. I turn my head back and glare at him. "Would you be quiet," I whisper harshly. Or at least that's what I meant to say. Whatever it was that actually came out only makes him laugh harder.

I've just about made it to the room when he comes up beside me. "Come on, let me help you up."

I brush his hand away. "I can do this myself," I state, quite certain I'm not as drunk as he seems to think I am. When I try to stand and everything starts tilting, I'm still sure that I can make it into the room before I fall flat on my ass. I don't even make it to the door.

When he comes over to where I sit, I'm sure he's going to make some smart-ass comment. He doesn't. Instead, he gently helps me to my feet, his embrace steadying me as we finally make it to the door. Holding me close while he digs out the key card, he gets the door open and helps me inside the room.

He helps me over to the bed before going back and locking the door. God, I feel like such an idiot. Tears have started to slide down my face and I try to wipe them away before he can notice, but this just isn't my night.

"Fran?" he asks as he hurries back over. "Are you hurt?"

I shake my head.

He sits down next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Grabbing a tissue from the box next to the bed, he dries the tears that still linger on my cheeks. "Fran, what's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry I've ruined this."

"Ruined? Don't be silly. You haven't ruined anything."

I wiggle out of his embrace. I'd stand if I thought I could, but I know that's not going to happen, so I settle for creating a bit of space between us. Turning to face him, I'm about to tell him how I've managed to ruin this evening, but one look and I realize he meant what he said. And it confuses me. "How can you say that? We're in this beautiful hotel and I'm drunk. I don't even think I'll make it to the bathroom without help."

"And how does my being able to help you ruin things?"

I'm about to tell him exactly how it ruins things but I don't get the chance because he pulls me back to his side and kisses me very gently. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he turns me slightly so that I'm looking directly at him. "Fran, I meant what I said early. We have time. If something would have happened tonight, I'm sure it would have been great. But I'm kind of looking forward to tomorrow. And the day after that and the one after that."

I think it's a good thing I'm drunk after all because that is the only thing keeping me from jumping him right now. I scoot closer, resting my head on his shoulder. "Thank you."

I half expect him to ask what I'm thanking him for. But once again, he surprises me. "You're welcome."

We sit for a few minutes, just holding each other. I might not be looking forward to the hangover I'm going to have tomorrow, but I am certainly looking forward to whatever else tomorrow might bring.


	11. Black or Red part 11

Please see the first few parts for all disclaimers. Thanks to Jen for the beta and thanks to everyone who is reading this.

Thanks,

Becky

.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Part 11_

I've been sitting here ever since I sent the email to Sydney two and a half hours ago doing nothing. Well, that's not exactly true. I've stared at the monitor on my desk. I've stared at the phone. I've stared at the desktop. I've played with my pen. 

As for doing anything productive, I've done nothing because I just don't know if I'd be helping or hurting the CIA, the _real_ CIA, with what they are about to do. Or at least what I think they are about to do. I drop my pen on the desk in weary disgust. Truth is, I have no idea what is going to happen and waiting to find out is becoming harder by the second.

I can feel the eyes of my co-workers and I realize that my doing nothing is starting to draw attention, so I scoot forward and grab a folder from the pile next to my phone. I place it on the desk and begin shifting papers around, trying to make it look I'm doing something productive.

I stare at page after page, looking at each one just long enough to hopefully make this charade believable. I might be staring at the papers in front of me, but all I can see are the words on the screen that verified everything Sydney told me.

Soon trying to keep up the pretense becomes more trouble than it's worth. I replace the folder and pick up my pen again, slowly rolling it between my fingers. A hand on my shoulder startles me and I look up to see Pat, a sympathetic look on her face. "Is everything okay, Marcus?"

I try to smile, but fail miserably. "Yeah."

"Well if that is the look for okay, I'd hate to see the one when it's not."

This time I manage a weak grin. "Everything's fine. Really."

She nods and she starts to leave, but then she's back and pulling up a chair. "You know, when Tom and I have a fight, I pretty much do what you are doing right now. Especially if it is my fault."

I almost wish it was as simple as a fight with Diane. And I have this feeling that when this is all said and done, there won't be anything simple about a fight with my wife. I shake the thought from my head. "We are supposed to have dinner at her mother's tomorrow night. The kids are both spending the night with friends and I'd just rather stay home, just the two of us, than go to my mother-in-law's for some really bad cooking," I lie, hoping this will placate her and that she will just leave me in peace.

"Go to dinner. Leave early. Rent a movie neither of you wants to see." She gets up, pats me on the shoulder, and manages to go about ten steps before she turns around again. "And flowers. Don't forget the flowers. Lots of them." She smiles and this time she disappears around the corner.

I nod, smiling a small smile despite myself. It sounds like a great plan but there is only one problem. My mother-in-law is in Phoenix for some reason or another and tomorrow night, I somehow doubt I'll be free to make a date with my wife.

.********

We congregate in the bullpen, preparing for Kendall's second briefing in less than three hours. I stand in front with Weiss and Vaughn flanking me. Others fall in behind us as we wait for Kendall to come in.

Sometimes I think the man has a sixth sense because he only walks in _after_ everyone else is in place. Or maybe he just likes making a grand entrance. Whichever it is, he finally strolls in and begins speaking.

As I listen to the words, the plan, the warnings, I alternate between watching Kendall and staring at the floor. When he starts talking about how most of the people at SD-6 are desk trained, I start thinking about Marshall and Dixon. Especially Marshall. 

And then I think about all the others that are just as naïve, just as trusting as Marshall. Taylor, Ian, Josh, Sarah, Sam; all of them people I like, all of them innocent pawns on Arvin Sloane's chess board. Just like I would have been – no, like I was - had it not been for Danny.

When Kendall mentions the security team, I have to force myself not to shudder as I think about what members of that team could be doing to my father right now. As he closes by telling us that this is a hazardous job and to do it well, and come home, I wonder how many of the people standing with me right now won't be coming back. And I can only hope that my father is one who will.

Kendall walks away briskly and everyone begins to disperse. I can feel Weiss watching me and I can only wonder what he must be feeling. This is the first time he's been on a mission like this since he returned after having been shot and almost dying. But before I can think of anything to say, he walks away leaving me standing here with Vaughn.

I turn and look at him and I'm sure my expression is one of disbelief. Because no matter how I try to wrap my mind around what is about to happen and what it could mean, this just doesn't seem real. But then I look at his face and I know it is real. _Very very real…_

.********

I know that this drive to SD-6 has to be as hard for Sydney as waiting in London was for me. My greatest hope is that we aren't too late. She and Jack may not be close, especially after what she discovered a few months back, but I don't know what would happen if she lost him too. And I don't want to find out.

I look out the window, wishing she was anywhere other than here. I know I could have tried to talk her out of coming, but in the end, it would only have been a waste of time and breath. Even though we didn't really have the conversation, I know she would have pointed out that she knows the layout of the building better than anyone going in. She knows where to expect problems. She also would have said that she knows, or at least has a damn good idea, where they would be keeping Jack. So here we sit.

While I know she will be our most valuable asset in this raid, not forcing her to stay behind is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Then again, the only thing that has been easy in this whole damned mess has been being there for her, comforting her, holding her. I just hope that when this is all said and done, I won't have to let her go.

I look around at the buildings and I realize, from my one and only trip to SD-6, that we don't have much farther to go. Images of the past twenty-four hours assault me and I have to look over at Sydney to remind myself that all of that is in the past.

I hear her sigh and I reach over, grasping her hand in mine. She looks at me and squeezes mine back in response. I can tell she's apprehensive about what is about to happen and she's not alone. I smile back at her, trying to silently convey my hope that everything will, in fact, be okay. She smiles, but it's fleeting and then she turns away.

I watch her reflection in the window for a moment before I move my hand under her chin, forcing her gently to look at me. "Are you sure you can do this?"

Her expression clouds and she tries to look away again, but I don't let her. "Syd?"

"It's not a matter of can, Vaughn. I don't have a choice. I _have_ to do this."

"No, Syd, you _don't_ have to do this. No one is going to think anything less of you if you don't go in."

"That's not true."

I think she can see that I'm about to ask the others for their opinion on the subject but she stops me before I can utter one word. "You might be right. They might not think any less of me. But what about what I think of myself? I've worked so hard for this, Vaughn. I've sacrificed _so_ much for this. I have to see it through."

"I know."

She turns her gaze back to the window. A moment later, her head drops slightly. "Vaughn," she begins quietly, "do you think he's still alive?"

I know what she wants to hear. I know she wants me to reassure her, to tell her that, yes, Jack will be fine, but I'm not going to lie to her. "I want to tell you that yes, he's alive; that he's fine, but we just have no way of knowing right now. Given the fact that they want you as well, my gut feeling is that he is."

She nods quickly, refusing to look at me. Again, I turn her to face me. "If he is, we'll get him out."

A sad smile flits across her face. She looks like she's about to say something when here eyes go wide.

"What? What's wrong?"

"We're here."


	12. Black or Red part 12

Ok, this wasn't what I planned for this part, but oh well. We need some fun.

Thanks to Jen for the beta and the encouragement to post this on its own.

And thanks to all who have commented. It really means a lot!

Becky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I look out the window and gaze at the moon's reflection on the bay. There is barely a ripple on the water. It's so calm. So peaceful. I wish desperately for that same sense of calm, of peace, but it isn't possible. Not tonight.

I turn away from the window, choosing to wander around the room. I glance over at the bed and the woman sleeping in it. I realize I want nothing more than to curl up next to her and drift into a blissful, dreamless sleep, but I know that won't happen. Sleep, peaceful or not, won't come easy tonight. 

I'm tempted to turn on the TV, but I resist the urge. I know she wasn't drunk enough to pass out and I know she's a light sleeper so I don't want to risk waking her. But it isn't waking her that I'm truly afraid of. I'm afraid of the questions she might have. Questions for which I have no answers. Or worse yet, the lies that will come from the ones I do have.

I plop down in a chair, thumbing mindlessly through the hotel's brochure. Before long, I'm back on my feet and pacing once again. I glance at the clock beside the bed, surprised that it's just past ten. And then my gaze passes over Francie. And our eyes meet. "Fran?" I ask as I make my way to her side.

"Yeah," she answers quietly.

I sit on the edge of the bed, my hand resting lightly on her shoulder. "I thought you were asleep."

"No." She rolls onto her side, turning away from me as she hugs a pillow to her. "I'm sorry. So so sorry."

"Fran," I sigh as I gently force her to roll back over. "How many times do I have to tell you? There's nothing to be sorry for."

"But…"

I silence her protest with a light kiss. I start to pull back, but she doesn't let me. Finally, I break away. "Fran, no."

She scoots to the other side of the bed. "See, I told you. I've ruined everything."

I shake my head and for the briefest second I wish she would have passed out. And then I want to kick myself for thinking it. "Fran, you haven't ruined anything. And maybe if you hadn't had a little too much wine, we wouldn't be talking right now. Or maybe we would. Who knows?"

I scoot further on to the bed and turn her so that she's facing me again. "But because you had a little too much to drink tonight, I'm not going to take advantage of that. I won't take advantage of _you_."

For the first time since I noticed she was awake, she smiles. "You're going to be a gentleman then?" she asks as she begins slowly running her hand lightly up and down my arm.

I remove her hand, setting it back on the bed. Unfortunately for me and my good intentions, it doesn't stay there. "I'm trying," I answer as her fingers creep leisurely up my leg.

"I see." She scoots a bit closer and sits up just enough to drape one arm around my shoulder, pulling me down next to her, as the hand on my leg reaches my thigh. _The inside of my thigh_. "So you won't take advantage of me?"

"Um, no." I'm trying to think of something, anything, that will distract me from thinking about what her hand is doing right now. But as my luck would have it, the only thing that's coming to mind is that time I walked in on Fran right after she got out of the shower. And while the towel did its job, it's not helping me in the least right now.

"You're sure?" 

_Damn she's got talented fingers. _ENOUGH! Okay, um let's see. That wacked out freak of a dentist in Taipei. Fran in a towel. Captured and tortured by Sark. Water beading on Fran's naked body. Being kidnapped and warned off the investigation of Danny's murder. Fran, wrapped in a towel, putting lotion on her legs and…

I suddenly find myself on my back with Fran nibbling my earlobe and working on the button on my jeans. _Shit! Think Will, think! _Jenny picking me up after being kidnapped and dumping me beside the road. _Damn, her fingers were just about as talented as Fran's…_

Suddenly, she stops teasing me and I breathe a sigh of relief. That is until I peel my eyes from the ceiling and find Francie, blouse unbuttoned, bra straps hanging around her elbows, and wicked smile about to straddle me. _How the hell did she get her blouse undone one handed?_

I grab her waist before she has a chance to settle and sit her back on the bed. "No. I'm not going to do this. And I won't let you do this either. When I make love to you the first time, you're going to remember it clearly. It's not going to be…"

I don't have a chance to say another word because she leans over and kisses me. And she doesn't stop. When I finally give in and try to deepen the kiss, she turns her head and begins nibbling on my ear again. "Make love to me some other time," she whispers.

"What?"

"Tonight, let's just have sex."


	13. Black or Red part 13

Please see part 1 for disclaimers.

Feedback greatly appreciated.g

Becky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 13

Up until now, everything has happened so fast, but now, it isn't happening fast enough. I'm trying not to think about what could be happening on the other side of these walls, but standing here waiting as they use the torch on the steel door, I find I can focus on nothing else.

I know I should be thinking about what will happen when we're on the other side of that door. Going over the plans, both the one Kendall gave us and the one he doesn't know about. And I'm trying. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I can see all of this playing out. How we'll go in. How we'll take control. How we'll all come back. _All_ of us.

I close my eyes for just a moment in an attempt to calm the nerves and emotions that threaten to overwhelm me. As I open them, I take a breath and look at Vaughn. And I see the waiting isn't getting to just me. 

Glancing around, I see the rest of the team shifting uneasily, glancing from one agent to the next and then all eyes fall back on the door before the process starts all over again. Except for me. All I can do is watch the progress of the torch and wish this was all over.

********

I know I should be doing something. Or at the very least, _look_ like I'm doing something. But I can't. I can't do anything but wonder what is going to happen now.

I emailed Sydney with the code close to three hours ago. I know that whatever is being planned is going to take time to implement. But the waiting is driving me insane.

I shift uneasily in my chair, moving a bit closer to my desk. I'm tempted to just get up and go home. I want to wrap my arms around my wife, ruffle my son's hair, watch my daughter's sleepy smile as I pick her up from the couch where she fell asleep as she waited for me to arrive. I want to pretend this day didn't happen.

But I can't. It has happened. It is _happening._ And the only thing I can do now is let it. And maybe, just maybe, when it's all said and done, I will be able to go home to my wife and kids. And when I'm finished explaining the lies, I can only hope I'll still have a family to go home to in the future.

********

I can hear his voice, but his words mean nothing and everything at the same time. On the one hand, they are just an annoying buzz in my ears fighting with the searing pain coursing through my body for my attention. On the other, the fact that I can still hear him means I'm still alive. And that is both a blessing and a curse.

I had heard rumours of Geiger's expertise in the field of information extraction. I just never imagined that I would discover first hand how true those rumours were. His style differs dramatically from that of Arvin Sloane. He has patience where Sloane does not. He is willing, more than willing, to try more than one method of torture in order to _persuade_ his subject to reveal what he wants to know. With Sloane, it was always the same thing over and over again. With Sloane, for the most part, death came quickly. With Geiger, it doesn't come quickly enough.

It would be so easy to just give up, to just give in to the pain and tell him what he wants to know, but I can't. I _won't_. He continues to speak but I don't pay attention. I think about the fact that Sydney will finally be out of this insane life. I know they'll have to place her in Witness Protection, but she'll still be _out_. My hope is that she'll finally be safe and that one day, she'll be happy. I have to believe that and I am forced to rely on one man to make sure it happens.

While I may not like leaving this task in the hands of Michael Vaughn, I have no choice. _Obviously I have no choice.._. I will just have to trust Sydney's judgment and trust that he will continue to protect her no matter the cost to him, personally or professionally.

Somehow, Geiger's last words filter through the thoughts I've used to block the pain and I know that his patience and my time have both run out. As I hear him switch the power back on, suddenly I realize I'm not ready. I'm not ready to let someone else protect my daughter. I'm not ready to let him end my life. I'm not ready to die.

********

The door is removed and we quickly file out of the room, forming two lines on either side of the hall. Sydney crouches in front of me and even though I know the answer she'll give me, I can't help asking if she's okay.

She answers as I knew she would, and I have to force myself to believe that she is telling me the truth because if I didn't, I know I'd be dragging her out of here, taking her someplace safe, and keeping her there until the dust settles. And even then, I'd probably keep her there longer, just to make sure.

As I'm thinking this, I hear the command to standby and I know it's too late to do anything but go forward. I reach for my mask and pull it over my head. I take the gun from my holster and chamber a round. And then I wait. We all wait.

In those few, impossibly long seconds that we have to wait for Kendall's authorization, I glance at Sydney and I remember the woman with a swollen jaw and that crazy red hair who walked in and thought I was playing her. I remember our first meeting in the bloodmobile where she told me she'd give me the plan and that if we followed that plan, SD-6 would be brought down in record time. Two months and she thought she'd be out. Done.

It's been longer than two months, but I wonder if she realizes that she's about to do exactly what she said she'd do. If all goes well with this mission, she, and Jack as well, will have helped bring down SD-6, the entire Alliance, in record time.

Kendall gives the order and we move in and then everything seems to happen at once. We meet little resistance at first, but that changes quickly. As we slowly gain control, I see Sydney break from the group, heading towards a corridor on the far side of the room. I do my best to cover her and when she disappears around the corner, I can only pray that she'll be okay as I continue to make sure no one follows her.

TBC…


	14. Black or Red part 14

*sneaks back in* I've been bad. Very Very Bad. I should not be allowed to go see movies that much. Or at least not the same movie _THAT_ many times. 

Oh and should I mention I'm going to see it again over the weekend? Hmm, maybe not...

Ok, but back to the business at hand. *clears throat* WE HAVE AN UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No you aren't dreaming. We truly have an update. And I am going to try and get this wrapped up by Feb. 9th because after that, I doubt anything will see the light of day until the end of March.

I would like to thank Jen who kept after me to work on this. I'd also like to thank her for the partial beta . Partial only because I think she fell aleep waiting for the end. 

Thanks to Old Romantic for doing the whole beta and encouraging me to go ahead and post it. 

I feel a bit rusty with this, so hopefully you won't be disappointed. And after this bit, it will go a bit AU. Well, maybe not really AU, maybe more of a speculation type thing. Or not. Hmmm. I really should decide, shouldn't I? 

As always, please see the first few parts for disclaimers, spoilers, and distribution stuff.

Ok, so here is part 14. I hope it was worth the wait.

Enjoy!

Becky

PS-I almost forgot. There are a couple of parts in here where you might not want to be eating or drinking anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 14

He's started talking again. Telling me it's my last chance. Telling me to save myself. To save Sydney. As he places the metal tip of the cable against my face, I flinch. I can't help it. But in that same moment, I realize that I am saving myself because by not telling him anything, I'm saving Sydney. And by saving her, I will have saved myself. No, not saved. Redeemed.

He asks me again who I'm working for. For the first time he seems to hesitate and I can't help wondering if that is part of his strategy or if he really thinks that this time I'll give him the answer he so desperately wants.

After a moment, he tires of waiting and he slowly moves the other cable closer to my cheek. I've heard of people whose lives pass before their eyes when they realize that they are about to die. I've never been one to put much faith in things like that. And up to a point, I was right. As I'm sitting here waiting for the quick, cool kiss of the other connector, it's not my life I see.

It's Sydney's.

Sydney tucked safely in my arms just hours after she was born. Sydney at her first birthday party with cake and frosting smeared all over her dress, face, and my tie. Sydney at six, her tiny, cold hand clasped in mine as we stood in the rain beside the grave of a women neither of us knew, but loved nonetheless.

And then I see her as an adult. There are no recollections of first dates and prom dresses. No parent-teacher conferences or high school graduations. No engagement parties or wedding receptions. Just Sydney, the grown, independent young woman standing beside the grave of her murdered fiancé. Sydney sitting quietly in a conference room as she learned that her mother was a duplicitous traitor responsible for the murders of thirteen CIA agents, her handler's father among them. Finally, I see Sydney standing in the pouring rain as she told me that she knew about Project Christmas.

I close my eyes against the memories and pray for an end to this torment. I keep them closed as I wait for that jolt of electricity, but they snap open only a few seconds later when the door bursts open. The vision before me is not one I've seen and I fear it is just a glimpse of what my daughter's life will become because of me. _Because of me…_

Somehow this sick image twists and I realize I'm not hallucinating. I'm not dreaming. And I'm certainly not dead. 

The shock wears off and I feel the cable fall from my cheek, but Geiger's hesitation costs him dearly this time. I hear the first shot fired and the dull thud tells me that it found its target. The second does as well. Three and four are fired quickly and I hear him stagger back, his gun clattering to the floor seconds before his lifeless body follows suit.

I close my eyes again briefly, but open them when I hear her moving towards me. I watch as she looks at me, at the injuries I've sustained and I don't see the woman who just saved my life. I see the little girl who had just been told something bad happened to mommy.

But this isn't twenty some odd years ago. And Sydney is no longer that little girl. I can tell she's trying to be strong, trying to not let me see how bad this really is. But I already know. And it is so much worse than she could ever imagine because all I can see is her standing in the doorway, firing the gun, ending another man's life to save mine.

I know that isn't what she's thinking about now. She probably won't until the shock of all of this wears off. But then she will and it will haunt her. 

Several months ago, I told her that I had hoped she would never have to make the choice to willingly end another man's life to save some else's. At that point it had been Vaughn's life she was trying to save. But today, it was mine.

*

I don't know what's happening. I'm afraid that it is like the time when Cole broke in here, but I don't think so. It seems different. Maybe it's because of the masks? Cole's men didn't wear masks.

My hands are bound behind my back and I'm pulled up from the floor. Not as roughly as some I've seen, but then again, they were resisting and I wasn't and then again, I didn't have a gun and some of the others did and I want to tell them to be careful that this is a new suit, but somehow I don't think they'd listen. Not that they'd care if they did.

They start to lead me away, but I do try and pull away, not in a menacing way that could get me hurt, or worse yet, _killed_, but I just want to ask Dixon something. When I say his name he just looks at me, like he's kind of sad, and shakes his head. And now I don't know what to think because they are taking me out of here and then I see Syd come in and, wait, why is Syd dressed like these other guys? Why isn't she being dragged out of here like the rest of us and…

Oh.

OH!

OHHH!

I'm pushed through the door, but I still want to go back and find out what's going on because no one will tell me anything and I don't think these guys know how intimidating it is for them to not be talking. Or maybe they do and that's why they aren't and if that's the case they really are doing a good job because I'm scared right now. 

Really scared.

Like _really_ scared.

Seriously scared.

I'm pushed forward because apparently I wasn't moving fast enough for them and we get to this van and it looks like one of our vans, just a standard issue CIA van and I still don't know what's going on and nobody else seems to know either and then I wonder if they'll let me make a phone call. But probably not, because I don't think these guys are the police and even if they were why would they come storming in like they did and I'd still like to know what Syd was doing there.

When they close the doors and the van starts moving slowly I don't care about why Syd was there. I don't care about who these masked men, and maybe women, are. I just want them to let me go so I can go home and call my mother and play with Mr. Snookums. But then I'd have to stop at the store for batteries cause I forgot to turn him off yesterday and he must have just wandered around the apartment doing his little robotic kitty meow, which is just _too_ cute, and I just don't think I'm going to want to go anywhere but home once this mess is cleared up.

It will be cleared up, won't it?

It has to be.

Yeah, it will be.

I think.

I hope.

God, I'm scared. Am I sweating? Cause when I get nervous, I start sweating and that's just not attractive and then I'll need to change clothes and who knows if they'll have anything in my size when we get to where ever we are going.

But I'll still need to remember to get batteries for Mr. Snookums. I should write that down. "Does anyone have a pen?"

*

I walk back through the door, trying to ignore confused looks I get from the people being led out. I try desperately not to notice how scared Marshall looks, but I can't help it. Everyone looks scared. But at least they won't have to be much longer.

When I see them getting ready to take Dixon out, I stop them. I try to reassure him that this _will_ be over soon. And it will be. I thank him, but those two small words seem so inadequate for the help he has provided. And I don't just mean today. He has been there so many times for me. Both before and after Danny died that I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay him.

But maybe, just maybe, finally telling him the truth was a start.

In the next moment I know it's not. When he tells me not to talk to him, it is said with such hurt, such contempt, that I'm surprised he even bothered to acknowledge me. 

As they lead him away, I know that more than SD-6 has come to an end. I just hope that the friendships forged here can be resurrected.

*

I pull the mask from my head and look around. People are still being taken out of here. They are still being tended to. Their bodies are still being covered. And I don't have any idea where Sydney is.

So I stand here, and as I do, I know I'm looking at the past. The lies, deceptions, and the pain caused from within these walls no longer exists. One more quick survey still has me looking for her. And then I see her. Standing in the midst of all this chaos and destruction, I _finally_ see her and I swear, my mouth goes dry because not only am I seeing the past, I'm seeing the future as well. My future. And for the first time I don't have to wait to embrace it.

I take the time to reassure myself that she is really there before I take that first step forward. And then the second, followed quickly by third and then she is in my arms and with the first touch of her lips everything around us melts away.

*

Jackson has to be kidding. There is no way that Mike and Syd are kissing. Sure, there's a pool as to when this would happen if and when SD-6 was taken down, hell there has been since the day she first walked in, but I know them. There is no way they would do this now. Not here. My friends wouldn't let me down.

No.

No.

Shit. They are. You have _got_ to be kidding me. Here? Now? Jesus.

I just lost fifty bucks. Damn it!

Okay, enough of this crap. Time to break this up before anyone else sees and then maybe I can get Jackson to keep quiet by splitting the pool with him. "Hey guys."

Okay, they aren't stopping. Crap, they have got to stop this. "I just talked to base. We did it. We kicked their asses."

I wait a minute and they still don't stop. I want to jump up and down, but I'm too mature for that. "Hey!" I move to a different side, hoping that one of them will see me through peripheral vision. "Guys! Did you hear what I said?" Great, no chance in hell of either of them seeing me because their eyes are closed.

_Still not stopping…_ "Asses." And I know there is no point in continuing. They aren't going to stop. But still I have to finish what I started. "Kicked."

I stand here for another second or two before I head off, leaving them in privacy. Well, as much privacy as they are going to get in the middle of fucking SD-6. Jesus, there is inappropriate and then there is _inappropriate_.

But even as I think this, I change my mind. For the two of them, _nothing_ is more appropriate than this.


	15. Back or Red part 15

I don't know how many times I've dreamed of this moment. _The end of SD-6._ After I found out the truth, I would fantasize about it. Fantasize about placing handcuffs around Arvin Sloane's wrists, making them just a little tighter than necessary. I could hear the cell door lock. I could imagine him looking back at me, knowing that I had betrayed him. And I could finally put it _all _ behind me.

After the first year, I couldn't allow myself to dream about it any more. But still, on those long flights home from whatever mission Sloane had sent me on, fatigue would get the better of me and the dreams would surface. To taunt and torment.

They would show me all the things that life might be without the lies that made up my life now. They would show me having fun with Will and Francie, real fun without the fear of something bad happening to them just because they know me. And there was always Vaughn.

And then the dreams would shift, allowing the nightmares free reign. I'd see Sloane standing over the lifeless bodies of my father and my friends. I'd imagine Vaughn, bruised and bleeding, cursing me for ruining his life. And worse yet, I'd see Sloane let him go. And instead of letting me be the one to comfort him, to tend to his wounds, he would go to Alice.

I could see myself standing outside a church, watching as the man I loved married someone else. See him smiling at her the way he'd sometimes smiled at me. See him holding the child that should be ours but never would be. And through all of that, Sloane would be by my side, reminding me that everything that had happened to Danny, to my father, to Francie, to Will, and even to Vaughn had all been my fault.

I'd wake up from those nightmares to find myself still on a plane, Dixon asleep beside me. I'd stare out the window after that, refusing to allow myself to go back to sleep. And when the plane would touch down, the first thing I'd do when I knew it was safe would be to call Vaughn. Just the sound of his voice would calm me. And when the call from Joey's Pizza came later in the day, I'd find myself rushing to the warehouse. As he'd wrap his arms around me, I could let myself believe everything would be alright. That for one more day, I'd be able to continue this crazy existence that is my life.

But amidst the chaos that surrounds me, the only part of this that's right is Vaughn. The feeling of his arms around me, holding me close. The taste of his lips as they finally meet mine. The texture of his hair as I allow myself the luxury of running my fingers through it. That part is right. Everything else is wrong.

Dixon and Marshall have been led out in handcuffs, both of them looking at me like they don't know who I really am. My father is being tended to by the medics. I can't even think about how close I was to losing him. I just can't because if I do, I'll fall apart and I don't know that even Vaughn would be able to gather the pieces. All of this is wrong, but the worst of it is the fact that Sloane isn't here. He isn't in handcuffs on his way to a federal jail cell. He isn't lying wounded on the floor. He isn't dead.

He's out there somewhere.

Free.

And I don't know that he'll ever be anything else.

br/br*br/br

I feel her tense in my arms and I pull back just enough to see her face. "Syd? What is it?"

She just shakes her head, resting it on my shoulder. As I slowly stroke her hair, I notice for the first time that we've had an audience. I knew that Weiss had been here, but when I see Jackson, Phillips, McKenna, Boyd, and Chandler leering at us, I want to be pissed. I know I should be pissed. But I don't really care. I just kissed her.

I kissed Sydney Bristow.

In front of people.

And none of them are trying to kill us.

I glance around; the smug grin on my face has them all shaking their heads and moving away. The grin dissolves quickly as I realize for the first time that Sydney is shaking. I wrap my arm around her tightly, guiding her to a chair that looks reasonably stable.

She goes into it willingly. Too willingly. I gently lift her chin, and when my eyes meet hers the tears begin to fall. I hadn't asked before if she'd found Jack. It hadn't occurred to me; I was too relieved to see her to give any thought to anything else. It's then I realize that I saw paramedics go down the same hall she had, but I hadn't seen them come back through.

My voice is quiet when I ask if she found her father.

The tears fall faster, harder now. Again she nods her head.

I pull her close as sobs wrack her tired frame. "I'm so sorry, Syd. So sorry."

"It's not supposed to be like this."

I hold her a little tighter. "I know." I rest her head on my shoulder. "I know," I whisper.

A moment later she's out of my arms, angrily pacing the room. "It's not right, Vaughn. He should have been here. What's it all for if he's still out there?"

I want to reassure her that Sloane will be brought in, but I won't lie to her. And I won't promise something that may never happen. "Syd, we'll do our best to find him. You know that."

"But at what cost?" She stops her pacing, standing in the middle of the room, wires and cables hanging haphazardly around her, papers littering the floor beneath her feet. "Who else will have to die before this all ends?"

I go to her, quickly wrapping my arms around her. "I don't know. But Syd, I have to believe it _will_ end. I need you to believe that too."

"I want to Vaughn, but…" I silence her protestation with a quick kiss. And then a longer one.

"You guys are _still_ at it?"

Sydney tries to pull away, but I won't let her go, angling her to my side so that we can both face Weiss.

"I don't suppose either of you heard me when I told you that we kicked ass tonight, did you?"

I give Sydney a quick, reassuring squeeze. "How bad were the casualties?"

"We've lost a few people. I don't really know more than that. Hang on." He pauses briefly before he continues. "Syd, that was the paramedics. They'll be bringing Jack out in a minute. Do you want to wait and go out with him, or would you like to go on out and wait at the ambulance?"

Before I can say anything, Sydney speaks up. "Did they say how he's doing now?"

"Yeah, they've got him stabilized. But I think you already know he's in pretty bad shape."

Sydney just nods her head. "I think I'll go and see if there is anything I can do to help."

My arm drops to my side as she moves back across the room, disappearing through the door. "Jack's alive?"

"Yeah. What you didn't think he was?"

"Well the way Sydney was acting, I wasn't sure. I guess I just assumed the worst."

"Assumed or hoped?"

I'm too stunned to speak. That he could actually think I'd hope that Jack was dead… I'm about to finally say something when the door opens and I see the paramedics come forward carrying the stretcher.

Weiss and I move to open the doors before we join Sydney who was following behind them. I move closer to her and place my arm loosely around her waist. When we get out to the parking garage, I hold her back before she can go to the ambulance.

"Vaughn, I have to go."

"I know." I give her a quick kiss. "When I'm done, I'll meet you in medical services."

She nods and starts toward the ambulance, but she turns back. "Tell Kendall to go easy with Marshall. And Dixon. They…"

She's interrupted by one of the paramedics. "Agent Bristow, we really need to get going."

"Okay." I'm surprised when she runs over and gives me a quick kiss before running back to the ambulance.

I watch her turn back before she gets in. "Vaughn…"

I know what she's going to say. "Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

A relieved smile crosses her beautiful face and she jumps up into the ambulance.

I watch as they drive away. I don't know how long I stand there before Weiss comes back over, telling me that we're ready to go. I glance behind me as we move toward to rest of the team. Eric is saying something, but I'm not paying attention. I can only think about something Sydney said. And I only hope that the answer to her question is no one.

tbc…


	16. Black or Red part 16

For all disclaimers, please see part one.

Part 16

Vaughn is quiet as we head back to the Ops Center. I know he's still pissed at me for the comment I made about Jack. And I don't blame him. I shouldn't have said it, but seriously, I needed to get that grin off his face. I'm happy that he was _finally_ able to kiss Sydney. I'm happy for both of them. But somehow, I doubt Kendall will be as happy, or as understanding.

I glance over and see he's staring out the window and I know there is more to this than him just being pissed about some comment. I sigh. I never sigh. Well I never **_used_ **to sigh until Vaughn met Sydney.

"What's wrong?"

He looks over at me, and I can tell he's trying to decide whether or not he's going to talk. But this is Vaughn. He'll talk. "It's just something Syd said."

Okay, like I didn't see that one coming. I sigh again. Shit, I really have to stop this sighing crap. I swear, I'm surprised I don't have the impression of a brick permanently imprinted on my forehead from this wall I keep running into. But what the hell. What's one more concussion? "What did she say?" And please don't let it be, "_Oh God, Vaughn, don't stop…"_

I try to get that thought out of my head only to find that he's already started talking. I hold up my hands. "Whoa, wait a sec. Start over."

Now it's his turn to sigh and I want to laugh, but the look on his face has the chuckle dying in the back of my throat.

"She wondered about Sloane. How many more people were going to get hurt before we catch him."

"He can't hide forever. We'll find him."

"I tried to tell her that, but I don't know. I just don't know."

"You can't honestly think he's going to get away with all of this?"

"I don't. But then I never thought I'd be cooperating with, **_working_** with the woman who killed my father either."

"Sloane isn't Irina. And just remember, she's in custody. Just like Sloane will be."

He nods and turns back to look out the window. "You didn't see her, Eric. I don't know how much more she'll be able to take. And if something happens to Jack…"

"Jack will be fine. He's too stubborn to be anything else." Oh, God. Did I just try to reassure Vaughn by telling him that Jack Bristow was going to be okay?

"You said he was in bad shape. If…"

I don't let him finish. "Jack is in bad shape. But I'm sure he's been worse. He'll pull through. He'll have to if he's going to kick your ass after he finds out you kissed Sydney in the middle of a ruined SD-6."

Vaughn's eyes go wide as if this is the first time he's had to think about what Jack's reaction is going to be like. And I know I shouldn't do it, but I just can't help myself. "You **_know_** he's not going to be very happy with you."

A sly smile crosses Vaughn's face. "No, I don't think he will."

She's been locked in the bathroom for the better part of an hour now. I'm supposed to be good with words, but whatever possessed me to say that I didn't want to just have sex with her is completely beyond me.

I knock on the door again and again I get no answer. I put my ear against the wood and at least I don't hear her crying anymore. I think that's a good thing until I realize I don't hear **_anything_**.

I try the knob again, hoping that this time it will miraculously open, but it won't. So I try banging on the door. "Fran? Fran, come on, say something."

When I still don't get an answer, I'm seriously tempted to try breaking the door down. Try being the key word because I'm under no illusions about my own strength, but I'm willing to do anything to make sure she's okay.

I'm just about to throw a shoulder against it when I hear the lock click and she emerges. She walks past me without a word and I wonder just how badly I've fucked this up. "Fran?"

"I'm going to bed."

_Dammit_. "Fran, listen."

"No, Will. I'm tired. I'm going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow and you've made your desires perfectly clear."

I grab her arm as she tries to move past me. She looks down at my hand before slowly returning her gaze to my face. "Let me go."

"No." I lead her back over to the bed, probably not the best place to go, but it's the best option I've got. I let go of her arm and point to the bed. "Sit."

I didn't think this was going to be easy, but the way she's standing here glaring at me, I know it's going to be more difficult than I thought. "I did make my desires clear. But apparently not clear enough."

"You said you didn't want to sleep with me. I think that's pretty damn clear."

"No, Fran, I told you I didn't want to just have sex with you. There is abig difference."

I can tell she's not convinced. "Do you think it was easy resisting your rather persistent advances because it wasn't."

"I'm sure you wouldn't have even tried with Jenny."

"You're right about Jenny. I wouldn't have. And I don't think I ever did." I place my hands on her shoulders and force her to sit. "But you're not Jenny. And maybe this time I want something more. Maybe this time, I want it to _be _more than just sex."

"And if I hadn't gotten drunk?"

"I don't know what would have happened. I didn't bring you here to seduce you."

"So why did you bring me here? And don't tell me it's because you wanted help with an article, because you hardly asked me any questions while we were at dinner that could possibly pertain to any article."

I can't tell her the real reason. I don't even want to think about the _real_ reason we are here, but I just don't know how much longer I can lie to her. "You needed to relax." I sit down and pull her next to me and she rests her head on my shoulder. "You work too hard." At least that wasn't a lie.

"I need the restaurant to work, Will."

"I know. And it is working. You need to take some time to enjoy it. Aren't we always going on about how Sydney's job runs her life?"

"I guess."

I lean back a bit so I can look at her face. "You guess?"

She smiles at me for the first time since this whole misunderstanding began. "Okay. I work too hard. But from now on, I'll try to take more time to enjoy the success the restaurant is bringing me."

"Try?"

She laughs and lightly pushes me away. "Okay, okay. I _will _ take more time to enjoy myself. Is that better?"

I pull her back to me and place a quick kiss on her forehead. "Good, then we can start tomorrow."

I get up, leaving her staring after me as I head to the bathroom. "Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?"

I grab a couple of aspirin from my bag and pour some water into a glass. I return to the bedroom and hand her them to her. She takes them and hands back the empty glass.

"What is tomorrow, Will?"

I just smile at her. "You'll just have to wait and see."


End file.
